News Nips

There are so many interesting things going on around town lately I don’t know where to begin.
Here are just a few.

A few days ago Animal Control was alerted to the fact that there was something funky going on in the Hart Flat neighborhood. When arrived they discovered 28 dead cats, in various stages of decay, lying all over the place. Ew. Another 16 had been found and buried by neighbors prior to their arrival. That’s 44 dead cats. Ew, ew! The article in the paper shows a picture of a man in a hazmat suit carrying a BUCKET OF DEAD CATS! You can totally see the stiff little legs sticking up out of the bucket.

There were also several live cats found on the property as well as a couple of horses and a few dogs. Until the cause of death can be determined the animals are being quarantined on the property. Right now there is speculation it could be the bubonic plague, which just sounds too medieval to be true. According to the paper the owners, Pete and Linda Miller, are being cooperative, but chances are good there will be charges brought against them.

(Speaking of cats, I recently diagnosed my cat as having an O.C.D. She CAN NOT stop cleaning herself. She would probably have a heart attack on the spot if she saw those cats in Hart Flat. Proof that my cat is obsessive compulsive? Once she is finally satisfied that she is clean enough, she goes outside, rolls in the dirt, then comes back in and starts all over again. I’m considering medication.)

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The man who has been on life support since his “incident” with five sheriffs’ deputies last week, died on Sunday. The coroner has ruled James Moore’s death as a homicide and said that the cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head. Sheriff Mack Wimbish said that just because Moore died doesn’t mean his men did anything wrong and that we all need to keep an open mind while they conduct their investigation.

And if you don’t they’ll open it for you.

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Now that the government has promised to give Kern County a butt load of money to update and fix our roads, city planners are suddenly able to make decisions! It’s a miracle! According to the paper, “supervisors unanimously approved an updated route for the South Beltway” yesterday afternoon. For now the plan is to connect I-5 to 58 following Houghton Road and then heading northeast toward Comanche Drive. Of course, those plans may change and who knows how long it will take before anything really starts to happen.

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A Bakersfield police officer, who was arrested and charged with spousal abuse and child molestation, denied the charges in court yesterday. Supporters of Ryan Floyd say the accusations are false and the bi-product of a very bitter divorce. Floyd, who was elected Officer of the Year a few years ago, has admitted to having an affair and there is some speculation that his estranged wife is out to get him. Then again, several other people have a come forward and made claims, so it’s not just his wife making claims against him. Then again, they don’t really need witnesses and evidence anyway.

They can always just make stuff up.