Thursday, November 10, 2005

Toilet Talk

I just found out that a man recently became stuck on a toilet in a Home Depot and had to be rescued by the Bakersfield Fire Department. Obviously this a strange thing to happen, but even stranger was the fact that very same morning I had been listening to the Today show while getting ready for work and they had a man on who had been stuck to a toilet.

I was confused. How does one become stuck on a toilet? Does the fat ass just get wedged in there and it won’t come out? I had to find out. Then I learned that people who get stuck to toilets are glued on. Why in the world would someone want to glue a perfect stranger to a toilet? Gluing your buddy to the seat, now that would be funny, but not someone you don’t know. That’s just mean.

But then, I couldn’t help but wonder, are these people not checking out the seats before they sit down? And if not, well then that’s just eeww. I mean, even before I put the paper seatcover down I check out the pot to make sure there aren’t any puddles which need to be removed. Especially in a public restroom! I usually take a little paper and wipe the seat off before I go plopping my ass on some nasty toilet.

Maybe that’s why it’s men getting stuck and not women; we take our time.