News Nips

The police man who accidentally shot an innocent bystander while trying to hit a fleeing teenager has been “reassigned.” Sgt. Jon Scott was cleared in the seven other shootings he has been involved in, but this time he was found to have “violated department policy.” It turns out none of the teenagers being chased were involved with the robbery they were suspected of, and none of them were armed. (What in the hell were they running for then?) Sgt. Scott will move from the special enforcement unit to “working with plain clothes detectives in a general detail unit. That unit covers petty theft, vandalism, missing person reports and threatening or harassing phone calls.” Hopefully Sgt. Scott won’t have a reason to shoot someone.

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The man who gave an old military grenade to small children to play with has been arrested for possession of a fireman. The grenade exploded on Aug 29 killing 2 children and wounding four others. Turns out Frank Sendejo had previously been convicted on methamphetamine possession, which explains his complete lack of judgment. Dude has holes in his brain. When the cops searched his house they found a rifle and some ammo, so after some time and some thought, they went back to his house yesterday to arrest him. Sendejo will not be charged in the deaths of the two children.

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Local carrot growers Bolthouse Farms is being investigated after six cases of botulism have been tied to its carrot juice. Last week Bolthouse voluntarily recalled some of its carrot juice, and now the FDA says they are conducting an “ongoing investigation.” According to the paper, botulism can cause “paralysis and death” and “symptoms include double or blurred vision, drooping eyelids, slurred speech, difficulty swallowing, dry mouth and muscle weakness.” Ewww.. that sounds pretty gnarly. The funny thing is you know the type of person to drink carrot juice is probably doing it to be healthy. Next time maybe they’ll “Enjoy a Coke” instead.