Thursday, May 01, 2008

News Nips

It appears that a local woman forgot to take her medication yesterday. That’s the only rational answer for why 49-year-old Teresa Odom would grab a kitchen knife and stab her daughter in the leg. Apparently the daughter refused to help her mother look for her keys, so mom lost it and got all stabby on her.

I bet that girl learned a lesson. Next time, help mom find the keys!

*****

The douche who coldcocked his buddy at the Beerfest is getting all weepy about it now. Reed claims that the two were friends and that he loved Johnson. Awww! He also says he had recently turned his life over to God and that he just wants, “to live free and peacefully.”

Huh. Maybe he should’ve thought of that before he PUNCHED HIS FRIEND IN THE HEAD!

*****

For, oh I don’t know, like the fiftieth year in a row, Bakersfield has ranked in the TOP TWO WORST AIR IN THE WORLD!! Or something like that.

Somehow this is news.