I'm not (news) worthy

I decided to sign up to have the Californian delivered to my house. I never had it before because I could read it at work – and I hated dealing with the extra recycling. But - now that I am the voice of Bake Town, I owe it to loyal readers (both of them) to keep up with what’s going on in the city and such. Besides, it only costs 7 bucks a month. That’s dirt cheap.

So, yesterday I was thrilled when I woke up and found the paper lying right in front of my door. The paper came to me instead of me going to the paper - how cool is that? Today I woke up with eager anticipation and went outside – I wanted to see how early the paper came. It wasn’t there. Heartbreak. I had to wait till 7:15 to get my paper!! I don’t know if I can handle this… I need my news by 6:30 at least.

Here are the best headlines…. “Hospital says go; newborn says hello” and “Are kid’s friends into drugs, sex? Yours could be, too!”