There sure has been a lot of news about the local roads lately. Yesterday Robert Price talked about the new “pothole hot line” in his column and there was another article talking about some of the roadwork going on around town. Today there’s an article describing the “poor man’s overlay” going on the northwest’s country roads. I think it’s funny that butt loads of new people move to town and all of the sudden everybody is interested in the condition of our roads.
The best thing about all this is the new “pothole hot line!” Dude, I’m gonna be calling that number every day! “Hey pothole hot line, did you see the one on the corner of 22nd and F Street? Man, it’s a doozy!” The pothole hot line almost didn’t happen though, because the phone number POT-HOLE was already taken. I guess this means there’s going to be a bunch messages from people saying, “Bob? Is that you Bob? Call me back.”
One of the articles warned that city workers have begun oiling around 40 streets a day. (As if no body noticed.) I hate it when they oil the streets and you drive over it and hear that weird sandy sound under the car. But I guess it’s necessary considering the beating our streets get from the sun.
It’s kind of like SPF 55.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
The Long and Not So Winding Roads
I was young and didn't know any better!!
I’m in trouble now. I thought it was bad when I found out my Mom was reading my blog – that was nothing. Now my brother is on to me. (Hi Bro!) I love my brother and all, but how shall I put this….uh, we don’t exactly see eye to eye on everything. He thinks I’m crazy and I tell him that he may be right, but if I’m crazy it’s his fault. (He and my sister loved to push on the soft spot on my head when I was a baby) Plus there’s all the torture he inflicted on me for his own amusement. He used to tell me he was going to take me to his school and put me in the cage with the monkeys. Of course, I did get him back sometimes.
One of Brad’s favorite things to do was the “ol’ Three Stooges - Curly & Mo fingers in the eyes trick.” I would put my little hand up in front of my face to block the oncoming poke, but my hands were too small and it always drove me crazy. (He never really poked my eyes very hard.) Brad would then let me have a turn at poking his eyes, but my little fingers were too small to get past his hand and it frustrated the hell out of me. One day, after much whining and pestering (which I was VERY good at by the way) I convinced him to not block my eye poking. I PROMISED I would not do it hard and swore that I just wanted to know what it felt like. Being the good big brother that he is, Brad finally agreed. Sitting innocently on the couch with his eyes closed and his hands beneath him, my brother waited for me to touch his eyelids. Pulling my hand back as far it would go, I forced my tiny fingers forward into his eyeballs as hard as I possibly could.
Paybacks a bitch, isn’t it bro?
Buckarootiful!
I admit it. It was my mistake. I mistakenly assumed when the paper announced that Buck Owens wanted “regular people” to come on down to the Crystal Palace to sing “The Streets of Bakersfield” with him that he would want people who can actually sing. Or a least people who have heard the song before. I was wrong. From the looks of the picture in the paper (which I tried to steal and post for you but the stupid bakersfield.com website wasn’t working) most of the “regular people” were kids. And according to the article, most of the kids didn’t know the words to the song. The national televised show will feature 175 screeching kids (and some adults) surrounding Buck all standing in the sun, squintting and sweating like crazy.
The show airs August 27th – you don’t want to miss it!
On the Prowl-er
The cops caught the “Southwest Prowler” yesterday. I was watching the news when they flashed a picture with the name Jerrad Dupree Allen under it and I was all, wow – he looks exactly like the composite drawing of him, then I realized it WAS the composite drawing and gave myself a slap to the forehead.
The story of his capture is sort of exciting. According to the paper, “Around 10:30 p.m. Tuesday, the father of a March prowler victim spotted a tan 1985 Dodge Prospector in his neighborhood. He also noticed that the man behind crept into his home, police said.” (Is it just me, or is that sentence confusing? And could this guy have chosen a more suspicious looking vehicle?) Anyway, the man ended up following the dude in the Dodge and called the police on his cell phone. After the cops showed up Allen led them on a short chase then jumped out of his van and ran like crazy. Apparently he’s in pretty good shaped cuz he lost them. Unfortunately Allen is not as bright as he is athletic. He left his drivers license behind when he ditched his van. (Insert Homer Simpson Doh!) Allen was arrested in front of his home early Wednesday morning.
Allen can now enjoy sneaking into other people’s cells and southwest Bakersfield residents can go back to ignoring each other.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
EVERYONE heard that one on the Grapevine.
A tanker carrying jet fuel exploded on I-5 today near the grapevine and the driver lived to tell about it! The trucker claims his brakes went out and since there isn’t anything left of the tanker, we’re all just going to have to take his word for it. (I cannot think of a better time to crap your pants than racing down the grapevine with no brakes while sitting a top of a tanker full of jet fuel.)
The accident happened at 10 o’clock this morning and the northbound lanes are expected to be closed until at least 4:00 p.m. today. (I hope all those people who moved here from LA are starting to regret it now.)
Sing a Song of Bakersfield
County Music Television has chosen Bakersfield as one of the top twenty cities with songs about them. So now, today, tonight! 100 to 300 “regular folks” are invited to sing “Streets of Bakersfield” with Buck Owens in front of the Crystal Palace. CMT will film the performance show it on TV later. According to the paper, all you have to do is show up at 5:30 and sign up and “the shoot will begin at 6p.m.” (Is thirty minutes enough time to sign up 100 to 300 people?)
Seems to me this plan is a little risky. What if hundreds of tone deaf ugly people show up?
Mojave Mayday!
An airplane carrying four pilots crashed into downtown Mojave yesterday and all of them survived. According to one of the men, “The engine was performing perfectly until we hit the ground.” (Apparently he thinks the pilot flying the plane is to blame.) The plane clipped a car, a Kentucky Fried Chicken, slid across a parking lot and set the Best Western motel on fire. (That’s a lot of damage for one little plane.) All four men leapt from the plane as they skid across the pavement, three of them were relatively unharmed and the pilot is in serious condition.
Two of the men on the plane were visiting from Israel and the other two had tried to show the men a good time by flying from Van Nuys to Mojave for lunch at the airport. What the? Why would anyone try to show some a good time by taking them to Mojave? That sounds more like torture to me.
Apparently the Israelis didn’t care for it much either – they went home today.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Bake Busters
If you’ve been having trouble with ghosts lately you now have a place to go. I can’t tell you how relived I am.
Pushing the Boundaries
I heard a rumor recently I thought was remarkable. The rumor is that Bakersfield High School is the Kern High School District’s “flagship” school. They get the best of every thing and they get it first. It is the only school in Bakersfield that is not over crowded AND, more importantly, the boundaries for BHS are specifically drawn to ensure that they have the right amount of smart kids and athletic kids. (Mind you, I’m not complaining, my son goes to BHS.)
I bring all this up only because there’s an article in the paper today talking about how the KHSD has purchased land to build two more schools and that almost all the schools will be affected by the boundary changes. According the article, “the district is facing the most comprehensive set of boundary changes since 1978.”
It will be interesting to see how these changes affect BHS.
Prowler Howler
Bakersfield has its very own mystery man. Starting last March, the “Southwest Prowler” has been sneaking into homes and… well…not doing much. Yesterday he was spotted hanging out shirtless in a woman’s kitchen. In the past he has awakened sleeping women then split when they start yelling (one woman claimed he fondled her). The Prowler has been spotted in nine different locations, all of them south of Hwy 58 and west of Union. (Not exactly the area I think of when you say southwest, but okay.)
The man has been described as a light skinned black or Hispanic male in his late teens or early twenties, which narrows it down to about half the city.
Padre Update
The lawsuit that caused renovation of The Padre to come to a stand still this past year has finally been settled. Pacifica has agreed to pay $460,000 as part of the deal, but now they’re saying their not sure they want to finish the project (I can’t image why not). The San Diego based company purchased the 77-year-old building for (insert Dr. Evil voice) one million dollars back in 2002 and announced that they planned on making it a luxury hotel again. Construction on the hotel came to a screeching halt, however, when the Kern County D.A. slapped a lawsuit on Pacifica for removing and disposing asbestos improperly. Cuz ya know the Kern County D.A NEVER does ANYTHING improperly so they most certainly cannot abide anyone else doing anything improperly. (Especially those fancy pants people from San Diego. Stupid perfect, beautiful weather people. We hate them.)
Now we have a half finished building and a company that doesn’t know what to do with the damn thing. According to The Californian, meetings with the city to “discuss strategy” will most likely be held over the next few weeks. You know what that means don’t you? That means Pacifica is going to say “Fine – take your stupid building back” and the city is going to say “No – you said you’d do something with it. We can’t afford it” and their going to say “Yeah, well now we can’t afford it either” and the damn thing is going to stay half done and the bums are going to continue peeing in the foyer.
And city planners are going to continue to wonder why Bakersfield has a bad reputation.
Hanford has a nicer downtown than we do.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Thursday, June 23, 2005
S.O.S
There’s an article in the paper today about a woman whose son bought an old school bus and plans to turn into an RV. Nearly 40 years ago her husband had the same bright idea and he nearly killed his whole family. At least that’s the way Betty remembers it. Betty describes being terrified as the converted bus began to slip “precariously close to a steep drop-off.” (Believe it or not, I have had two similar experiences.) When they eventually returned home from the “vacation” the bus got the axe.
Now Betty’s son is walking in his father’s shoes. According to the article, “He said, ‘Well, I just bought a bus. Can I put it in your backyard’?” What the hell? She should have said, “No you cannot put an old, broken down bus in my backyard – are you crazy?”
But she didn’t, and now she has a luxury hotel for black widows parked next to her bedroom window.
I just hope the son does a better job of fixing up this bus than his father did. He painted the outside army brown, the inside pink, and mounted a few bunk beds. His daughters were so embarrassed to be seen in it, they stayed in the bunks the whole time. (Sounds like sheer torture!)
Betty’s son is motivated by fond memories of working on the bus with his father. He describes the trip they took as “downright fun.” “That bus, we kind of think of it as the Titanic,” he said.
Um, dude, I think there’s a good reason they didn’t build a second Titanic. Think about it.
I'm in trouble now.
Bakersfield is about to clean up its act. According to an article in the paper today, “quality of life” crimes, like stumbling around drunk in public, peeing in public, and being loud and obnoxious are going to be prosecuted by the city. (There goes all my fun.) Councilwoman Sue Benham came up with idea (thanks a lot Sue) of hiring a few lawyers to serve as “special” deputy district attorneys to focus on the cases the regular DA’s office doesn’t have time to handle. (They’re too busy hiding evidence.)
I’m not in support of public drunkenness or anything, but really, isn’t it better to have them walking than driving? If they’re going to start prosecuting people for stumbling from bar to bar downtown, they’re either going to have a lot more people drinking and driving or they’re just going to kill business.
That’s not to say I don’t support the idea to some extent. I can’t wait to call the cops next time my ghetto neighbor starts blasting his music.
Diary of a Newcomer to Bakersfield.
May 30th: Just moved to Bakersfield. Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th: I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the upholstery. The car now smells like Kibbles and shits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
July 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.
July 30th: Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now. $225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Why did I ever comehere?
Aug. 4th: It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid city.
Aug. 8th: If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?'I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
Aug. 9th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, andwhen I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.
Aug 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do shit for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm upnext week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up! and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.
Aug. 14th: Welcome! to HELL ! Temperature got to 115 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend $1500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Bakersfield. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?? Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.
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I take no credit for writing this. My friend Todd emailed it to me today and when I asked him where he found it he said a friend emailed it to him, so its author is a mystery. (The cuss words are not my fault Mom!!)
Todd came over yesterday and brought me a T-shirt he had bought for me that reads "I am SO blogging this!" I love it! Thanks Todd - you are too sweet.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Guns don't kill people, bullets do.
The Delano prison guard who shot an inmate in the head with a foam bullet has been cleared of any wrongdoing. The family of Daniel Provencio, who was brain dead, are not satisfied with the report, which REALLY doesn’t surprise me. They also were not satisfied with the doctor’s report that Daniel was dead and wasn’t going to get any less dead. They kept his body going for three months.
The report does cite two problems that may have lead to the shooting. Number 1 was shoddy inspections and number 2 was shoddy training. That makes me feel better, doesn’t it you? There’s a prison full of violent inmates being guarded by a bunch of people who don’t really know what they’re doing approximately 35 miles from here. Great.
Due to the improper inspections, Daniel and several of the other inmates were drunk. Daniel’s blood alcohol was 0.152. (Whew – that’s a lot of hooch. So, when you combine a bunch of convicts with a bunch of alcohol, you may have a problem. I’ll have to remember that.) Right about suppertime one inmate dumped his food on the table and hit another inmate in the head with the tray. Oh man – it’s on now. Chaos ensued.
As best as I can tell, the guard in the room attempted to break up the fight and Daniel attempted to stop him from doing so. The guard on the tier keep telling them all to get down and when Daniel keep struggling he popped him in the head. This is where the shoddy training comes in. Apparently the guy didn’t realize how much damage a foam bullet can cause. Who can blame him? I still find it a little hard to believe a piece of foam could kill a guy. (Of course, I keep picturing those little capsules that my son would put in water and suddenly a tiny dinosaur would appear.)
According to the paper, “Few guards at the prison had actual hands-on training with the weapon because the foam bullets are expensive (about $25 per bullet) and the manual given to guards was ambiguous.” Twenty-five bucks for a foam bullet? What the hell? I could get five of those little foam capsules for a buck. And why is the manual for a weapon “ambiguous?” You’d think they’d make an effort to be clear – just in case the weapon is ever used in the way it was intended to in the first place.
What’d it say? - If you shoot someone in the head they may have a headache OR they may die.
Blowing Up All Over
Okay, I was all for the ban on Piccolo Petes – those damn things scare/annoy the crap out of me on a regular basis for the entire first week of July. But ground bloomers? I just read in the paper that ground bloomers have also been banned. That sucks. I like the whizzing sound they make as the spin across the asphalt changing colors. I can see how they are dangerous though. Many a time I have seen one hit a small stone and suddenly dart beneath a parked car. I guess I’m stupid cuz I would always stand there holding my breath waiting for the car to explode. None of them ever did. I wonder if a car ever exploded from a ground bloomer?
The ban on these fireworks comes following the death of Raymond Reilly last year. Three “men” down the street from him decided it would be a good idea to blow up a watermelon. Shrapnel flew 74 feet and hit Raymond in the heart. (Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time.) Fire Chief Ron Fraze said they confiscated around 40 homemade bombs and that many more where exploded. According to him, “Last year it looked like Beirut out there.” That explains why there was so much smoke in the air the next day.
The funny thing is the ban really isn’t going to do anything except send all the people who would have bought the fireworks in town to the county stands. And, as Ryne Conder from Phantom fireworks pointed out, tampering with fireworks is already a federal law and “people who will ignore a federal law aren’t going to worry much about a municipal one.” Good point Ryne.
Why doesn’t the county ban the fireworks too? Then there would be no problem. I guess that just makes too much sense.
Wondering
Why is it that crazies who walk around downtown digging soda cans out of trash cans always seem to wake up so early? (I call them crazies cuz they’re not homeless. I think a bunch of them live in the Decatur.) I mean, if I didn’t have a job there’s no way I’d be up at 7:00 am walking around the alleys. I saw no fewer than six just this morning. Don’t these people ever sleep in? Aren’t they hung over? I guess they have to beat each other to the prizes they discover in the dumpsters. The early bird does get the worm after all.
My favorite is the man I call Champ (he never digs through the trash). He’s the one that is always covered head to toe. I’m talking a hat, long sleeves, gloves, and long socks pulled up to his knees. He is quite a sight. Usually I see him jogging around the neighborhood punching the air like a prizefighter. Today he was walking jauntily down the sidewalk carrying a brief case. It was clear he was headed to a very important meeting.
There’s a meeting I don’t think I would mind sitting through.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Idiots Are Everywhere!
We have some very sick, sad people in this town. Some of those sick, sad people have been getting their jollies by tormenting the local Red Cross. First they tagged the building, then they broke in and stole the CPR practice dummies, and now they have set fire to the building and destroyed all of their emergency supplies. What kind of sicko does something like that? What the heck are they going to do with CPR practice dummies? What kind of dumb ass burns down the building of the people who help you when your own house burns down? They're idiots!
Speaking of idiots, it appears that Guy Daniel Nieto isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Last Sunday Nieto stabbed Enrique Alba to death when he refused to give him is bicycle. And he did in front of other people! I guess it would be sort of hard not to notice a man getting stabbed in front of a liquor store in BROAD DAY LIGHT! Neito was arrested a short time later at his home. Dude didn't even think to maybe go somewhere else for a while. Alba’s friends are planning a memorial ride tonight from the spot where he was killed to his near by house. (That seems a little weird to me, but okay.)
Another idiot in the news…A Portville man was killed last Saturday after his tire blew out and he continued to drive the car. According to the paper, the tire shredded and fell away and he continued to drive on the rim for another three miles. While trying to maneuver a turn, the car flipped over into a canal and the man drowned. That’s got to go on one of those ‘Stupid things people do to get themselves killed’ lists.
And for the rest of the idiots out there – The Bakersfield Californian published list of “10 Park Rules” that are used at all local parks. Here are a few of the rules: Don’t throw a javelin, don’t ride a unicycle, don’t drive cattle, and last but not least, don’t open the sewer. I can only assume that city officials were having so much trouble with people doing these things and hurting themselves that they were forced to out law such behavior.
Friday, June 17, 2005
Go to your happy place.
I think it’s interesting how some people become so obsessed with hating Bakersfield. Does this happen with other cities? Is there some town in Alabama that all the other towns love to pick on? Like I’ve said before, Bakersfield is no San Diego, but it’s not the worst place in the world either. I can think of a lot of other cities I think would be worse. But then again, maybe they wouldn’t. I don’t think it matters where you are - if you’re happy, you’re happy and if you’re not, you’re not. I don’t care where you live – that’s just the way it is.
That is the only explanation for a person who hates Bakersfield and all things Kern SO MUCH he literally makes a hobby of it. Something really awful must have happened to him here and he is really unhappy. I am sorry for that.
I find it fascinating that this person would take the time to read my blog and go to the effort of commenting just to try to irritate me. He doesn’t even know me. Have you ever wanted to irritate someone you don’t even know? Have you ever hated an entire city of people simply because they live there? I know I haven’t. Sounds kinda Hitleresque to me.
In case you missed it, this is some of what Jed had to say:
“I enjoy irritating Kern morons, be they the okie-dokes, the pigs, the oil scum, the Kern chester judges, farm boys, the gangstas, or the 1000s of cheap hos: it's one of my hobbies. Here, on the Galifornian, the Blackboard (ize a reg there), Wasted High, Lamotopia, my blog, other Kern crap sites.”
Isn’t that sad? To make a hobby out hating Kern County seems sort of pathetic to me. I hope you find happiness somewhere Jed – and trust me, you will not be missed in Bakersfield.
W.U.D.
It's the midddle of June. In Bakersfield.
It's 64° and breezy. I am wearing a sweater.
We are not in Kansas anymore.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Bake to be Wild!
The very first custom bike show is coming to Bakersfield this Father’s Day weekend. Show dad how much you care by taking him out to the Kern County Fairgrounds for some bikes, boobs, and bands. According to Eye St. besides motorcycle enthusiasts, “The Bakersfield Thunder Run also will feature a poker contest, a bikini contest, various vendors and spaces for campers.” The event schedule is printed in the paper and several local bands, like The Filthies and Karmahitlist, are slated to perform. Tickets are $10 to walk in and $15 to ride in.
If you’re Dad is into that kind of thing, you’ve got the perfect gift. My Dad would rather do a crossword puzzle.
Another Sign of the Past
I did some more research on this whole “Fun, Sun, Stay, Play” sign, and here is what I dug up. (Actually I just read Robert Price’s article from Sep. 19, 1999. Thanks Robert!)
The idea behind the sign came from business owners along Union Ave. who were worried about losing business once Hwy 99 was built. They pooled their money and hired an LA company to build first one sign and then two years later, another. Both were enormous, standing 49 feet tall and 60 feet wide.
When discussing the design of the sign, they first considered, “Eat, Rest, Gas, Play.” Realizing that the words "Eat" and "Gas" don't go well together they changed it again to "Eat, Rest, Swim, Play." Besides sounding horrible, someone on the legal staff pointed out that it was against the law. Government businesses are not allowed to promote private enterprise. Luckily someone (no one knows who) came up with the “Fun, Sun, Stay, Play” logo and the rest is history.
The first sign went up in 1966, and they were both torn down in 1983. People in town had grown to view the signs as “hokey” and they were not willing to continue to pay for the up keep. Plus there was the whole headache of keeping kids from climbing up there and switching the letters around to display their own, usually vulgar, message.
One person did want to see the signs saved, however, and that person was from LA. Jerry Simmons organized a short-lived statewide “Save Our Bakersfield Signs” preservation committee in 1983. Her efforts fell on deaf ears as the city was eager to unload the costly signs. Five people bid on the signs including Jim Burke, but it was Ken Jones, the president of Airport Bus who won. Jones intended to use the signs to advertise his business, but he never got his act together, and eventually the signs went the way of the scrap yard.
Darn it Buck! Where were you in “83? Asleep at the wheel?
Me thinks thou dost protest not enough
Sounds like things did not go quite as well as expected for Gov. Schwarzenegger yesterday during his pit stop at a local car wash. Sure, there were plenty of supporters, strategically placed in front of the protestors. With “Go For It” posters raised, the Governor may not have been able to see the detractors, but they were there.
According to the paper it wasn’t as bad as the heckling he received in Santa Monica yesterday, “but it was a big change from the swooning crowds that normally greet Schwarzenegger here.” The dissenters chanted, “Hey, hey, ho, ho, the Terminator’s got to go” but their efforts to get Schwarzenegger's attention failed thanks to the sea of red shirted supporters standing in front.
That seems unfair to me. They put up a fence and only allowed supporters on the inside and kept the protestors on the outside. Is that legal? Maybe it's just show biz.
Race Fan Review
Apparently someone wrote a letter to the paper recently saying that, “racing fans are generally an illiterate, Bud-stained, Marlboro stinking lot that should be erased from the gene pool.” I don’t know how I missed that one. Needless to say, a few people were offended by his remarks.
In today’s letters section there are several letters written in response. All of them defend race fans as good Americans and “hard working, decent people.” One letter questioned why the man was so against race fans, suggesting that, “I can only assume that at sometime in his miserable existence that a racing fan beat the heck out of him and this is his way of striking back.”
One writer seems to agree a little bit and says, “that may be true, but there are also some very educated, successful and professional people that take a hankering to the beloved sport.” She apparently is not one of them however because she later asks, “leave us hicks alone” and reminds readers that there is still another track around.
“The Bakersfield Speedway, also known by us hicks as "The Okie Bowl.”
The Bako Zoo
I think it’s sort of funny that the only zoo in Bakersfield, the California Living Museum, or CALM, is full of one-eyed, three legged animals. The paper has an article in the local section today describing how most of the animals living at CALM end up there because they cannot survive on their own. They’ve lived hard lives
CALM currently has six kit foxes, and one of them has only three legs. Another kit fox found recently had his leg amputated and he will be joining the group soon. Interestingly enough, CALM is the only zoo that is allowed to keep kit foxes. They also have a one eyed Bald eagle they call ‘Winkie’. (Just kidding - his name is Spirit.)
Of course not all of the animals at CALM are mangled. The have a lynx-bobcat hybrid that they acquired from some idiot who bought the animal on the internet and smuggled it in. When the cat got sick the dude took him to the vet and the animal was confiscated. $1,500 down the drain. What was he thinking?
I would not want a bobcat in my house. Can you just imagine the SIZE of the litter box?
A Sign of the Past Times
I guess I’m not the only one in town wondering what ever happened to the old “Sun, Fun, Stay, Play” signs. Some chick asked The Californian about it on one of their blogs and there’s a report on the subject in the paper today. The bad news is, the signs are gone. One was destroyed by weather and the other was scrapped. Buck Owens asked about the signs in 1999, but they were already long gone.
The dude that bought the signs bought them both for only $1,500. He had one stored here, which was damaged in a windstorm, and the other in Fresno, which he allowed to be scraped. What an idiot. If he had just stuck those signs in a warehouse somewhere he could have sold them to Buck for big money.
I bet that guy is kicking himself in the butt right now.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Still a No Go
Kern County Supervisors have decided to put off plans to develop The South Beltway a little longer. Construction is probably about 20 years away, but apparently that still seems too soon.
The problem is that none of them can agree on the how the freeway should be built. Some want it to run along Taft Hwy, some want it to run along Bear Mountain Boulevard. Personally I don’t care where it is – I just want them to get busy and build the damn thing. This is ridiculous. They have been discussing its construction since 1990.
That’s 15 years of talking and getting nowhere. Time for a marriage counselor.
DP for Me
While purchasing soda from the machine at work recently I couldn’t help but notice the Dr. Pepper was the only brand sold out. I going to get a D.P. Then I remembered an article I read in college. Some professor had written a paper for one of those scholarly journals about how the okies brought Dr. Pepper to California. I’m not kidding – I read it myself. I wish I still had it.
So I decided to see if I could find anything on the internet. I didn’t find anything serious, but I did find this and I thought it was interesting how similar so many of the things are the list are to Bakersfield.
I can’t imagine why.
No Summer Lovin'
The front page of today’s Californian is all about how to deal with the heat in Bakersfield. There are two articles, and one of them is Robert Price’s column. In it he warns all the new comers about what they can expect to face this summer and says that, “if your car’s air conditioner isn’t in primo operating condition you’ll stick to the seat all the way home.” (That is if you have a cow hide and are able to sit on it at all.) Both articles give all the new comers tips on how to deal with the heat.
I can’t help but think it’s funny and kind of sad that there are literally thousands of people out there who are about to experience hell on earth for the next few months. They must be scared. Maybe they should be. According to the article we average 37 days of triple digit weather every year.
That sounds awful, but it’s a little misleading. For example, when it’s been 98° or 99° all week, you hardly notice a difference when you have a 100° day. But, when it gets up over 105° and it stays that way for several days – and you toss in a couple of 110° days – that’s about the time I start to contemplate suicide. Homicide or suicide – some one must pay for my misery.
I wonder if that’s why we have such a high crime rate.
Bake Gov
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is at this very moment giving a speech at the Cruz Thru Express Car Wash on Panama Lane. I think the Govenator likes Bakersfield - he is always coming here. He was just at Mexicali a few months ago and he came here a few times during his campaign for election. I wonder why? (insert sarcastic tone)
I bet we don't see him again until the fall at least. The summer heat is finally here.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Chuck talks Cat
I had lunch with Chuck today cuz he’s a lazy bum and didn’t go to work. While we were eating my cat suddenly jumped on the table without a sound and landed in front of us. “Man, you’re cat’s stealth!” Chuck said. “She’s always just appearing out of nowhere. It kinda freaks me out. I like her though. She’s a good cat.”
That’s when Chuck began a rant on his old roommate’s cats. A friend he used to live with had two cats, Roz and Karen. According to Chuck they are meanest, stupidest, clumsiest cats in the world. And they weighed about a hundred pounds each. I nearly wet my pants laughing while he told me about his experience living with the animals. “Those cats hate everybody” he exclaimed, “They even hate each other. They are awful, awful, awful.”
Next Chuck told me he had to apologize for what he is about to say and that he really would never wish any harm on any animal, BUT! “If I could, I would grab a little .22 hand gun, take those cats outside in the yard and put a bullet in each one of their heads. Pop! Pop!”
When I was finally able to breathe again I told Chuck through my laughter that he could just take the cats to the SPCA. “You don’t have to shoot them execution style.” That’s when we both lost it and started to get silly. Chuck said he kind of liked Karen better than Roz, and Karen hated Roz, so he would off Roz first so Karen could have one little moment of happiness, then kill her too. At least she'd die happy.
Suddenly I remembered the stray cat that has been driving me crazy lately. It keeps coming around making these awful meowing/yowling/growling sounds. Plus, it’s all mangy and crazy looking and I think it wants to mate with my cat. Eww.
“You know what that is?” Chuck asked. “That's the feline equivalent of a man going ‘OOOOOWWWWWW’ ‘OOOOOOWWWWW’ I’m hungry. I’m sick. I have no home! Somebody put a bullet in my head.”
And the plot thickens...
I started working on my plan to go to Vegas and watch Chuck play in the national amateur tournament last night. Step number one was to secure lodging. I called my best friend Flo to find out if she is going to be living there by August 19th (that’s the weekend it is held). Luckily, she is (thank God). Now I have a place to stay and I get to see Flo! Yea!
Step number two of my plan was to "let" Chuck tell me that I couldn’t go and act convincingly disappointed. That was easy. Yesterday as we were watching a movie, he suddenly turned and looked at me with a sort of desperate panic and said, “I can’t go to Vegas with you baby. I have to go with my team.” I told him that I understood and I promised not to be mad. I could practically see the stress draining from his veins. Step Two – Check!
Step number three was way easier than I thought it would be. Chuck had told me the reason he would get nervous if I was there was because he wasn’t used to it. I had reasoned with him that it didn’t make sense to say he didn’t like to be watched when there are already dozens of people watching. So step 3 was to go his weekly pool tournaments so he could get used to me being there. Shortly after accepting his request for me not to go to Vegas I said, “I wanna go to your match tonight.” “You do?” he said, “Okay. You can go with me to the match tonight.” Step number three – double check.
Not only did I go, and was he fine, but also I actually made myself useful (shocking – I know) and kept score. Chuck plays for the American Pool-players Association and they got some funky rules. I learned a lot last night. (I’m not nearly as dumb as I look.) Overall everything went great. I ran into an old co-worker and played some pool myself (winning two in a row thank you very much.).
Step four is to try and keep my mouth shut for the next two months, not blow my cover, and make my plans. That and come up with a good disguise. Any suggestions?
And step five? Step five is pulling it off with out a hitch. (Thank God Chuck never reads my blog!)
There's a New Snake Man in Town
There’s an article in the paper today about a couple that have turned into the go-to pair in a snake emergency. Bud James, or The Snake Man as he is called by Bakersfield Animal Control, helps retrieve lost pets and impound venomous snakes. He also provides a place to keep the animals. The Jameses currently have 35 snakes. They keep the rattlesnake in THEIR BEDROOM! (Ah heeellll no. That’s crazy. How does that woman sleep?)
I liked Mrs. James’ explanation for keeping the reptiles around. “We don’t have these just because we’re weird. We take them to schools and libraries,” she said.
Whatever lady. You’re weird. Period. Deal with it.
Monday, June 13, 2005
Play Place the Padre
What should we do with the Father Garces statue?
That's the big question people keep going on about lately. Some say we should move it, but the question is to where? One person wrote a letter to the Californian suggesting they put it on the corner by Garces High school. Can you image all the pranks that will be pulled if they do that? It boggles the mind.
Personally I don't really care what they do - but I would like to actually be able to walk up and look at it someday and that ain't gonna happen if I have to run across the circle to get there.
So, what do y'all think?
Glad she's not my Mom
This didn’t happen in Bakersfield, but it was in the local section of the paper today so I’m blogging about it. According to the article, a woman in San Francisco had a couple of Pit Bull dogs. One of them was in heat and the other had become aggressive as a result. One day when she just HAD to “run errands” she decided it would be a good idea to LOCK HER 12 YEAR OLD SON IN THE BASEMENT. Yes, folks the son was locked up, NOT the dog.
Before leaving she wedged a shovel indoor and the boy to “Stay down there until I get back.” The boy, being 12 years old and all, didn’t listen. He figured out a way out of the basement and went upstairs where, the woman speculates, he walked in on the dogs mating. Embarrassed and angry about the interruption the dog attacked and killed the boy. This seems like a very natural reaction to me. What would you do if some kid walked in on you getting busy? (Wait – don’t answer that.) The mother defended herself by saying, “It was a freak accident. It was just the heat of the moment. (No pun intended of course.)
The extent of the woman’s grief over the loss of her son is truly underwhelming. She commented to the press that it was “Nicky’s time to go. When you’re born you’re destined to go and this was his time” and added that “I’m not mad at my dogs. I just love them to death.”
Pun intended.
Weekend Update
I had a great weekend. Friday night I had dinner at Mexicali with my friend DD and her cute, little, baby girl. She is so cute I wanted to eat her chunkies with a spoon. Saturday I picked up my son and drug him with me to a graduation ceremony. The graduation was for kids who were kicked out of regular school. They are the kids people thought would never graduate, so you can imagine how excited everybody is. I started crying when they all marched in so proudly in the cap and gown.
This graduation is not like graduations at “regular” schools. It’s very personal. Instead of having a guest speaker they had four students give speeches. The first girl spoke about cutting school, doing drugs, and how her father is in prison “because of a murder.” It was very emotional.
The audience at this graduation was, oh… how should I put it? Fairly ghetto. They were noisy, they didn’t follow directions, and there were lots of shout outs at inappropriate times. It was hilarious. My son said he felt like his IQ was slipping and told me as we were leaving that he NEVER wants to graduate like that. (Which is exactly why I took him.)
After the ceremony Paul and I met my nephew for lunch. My brother’s oldest son, Jack, is a 19-year-old ‘I’m going to be a rock star’ survivor. He was doing well in all his GATE and AP classes and he had already been accepted to college. Then he started cutting class, screwing up and throwing it all away. He was too distracted by his band and his fame. He even moved out with nowhere to go. He ended up staying with me for a few months. I had to make sure he finished school. Once he graduated I told him he either needs to pay me rent or kick rocks. He ended up sleeping on a dirty couch at some dude’s house for a couple of months until he got sick of partying like a rock star and went home. Now he works for a plumber.
Jack and Paul and I had a nice conversation that included Paul telling us about going blind and getting a guide horse, and Jack telling us he once ate dog poop. Typical conversation for my family.
Saturday night I met some old friends at Zander’s. I had never been in the bar before. It’s downstairs in the basement and it’s small but very cool. They had food and a DJ spinning some really good music. There was no room to dance, of course, but the music was good. I had a lot of fun talking with my old college buddies I don’t get to see very often. I ended up staying up till 3 in the morning talking.
Sunday was a beautiful day and I spent it working in my yard and my house. Chuck was in a pool tournament all weekend and Sunday was the finals so I was waiting to hear from him to find out if he won. He FINALLY called me and sure enough – he won! He’s going to Vegas baby. I’m not going – he’s going. He said I can’t go cuz I would make him nervous. Whatever.
I’m making plans to go anyway. I’ll just disguise myself and sneak in.
Friday, June 10, 2005
Bake Trivia
Okay here’s what I learned from my Bakersfield magazine…
- There’s a mission on Water St. called San Clamente and they have tours.
- The word Yoktus means person or people in the Yoktus dialect.
- The Kern River Valley is the hummingbird viewing capital of California.
- Kern County is your gateway to some of the most spectacular sights found anywhere on the planet!
- Kern County is a premier location for viewing some amazing plant and animal life.
- More than 350 movies have been filmed in Kern County.
- And that there is no air conditioning at The Dome but “ticket stubs also make a great fan!”
Who’d a thunk.
Bake Mag
I saw Senator Roy Ashburn this morning sitting outside Dagny’s coffee house. I was all, “Hey, wassup dude, remember me?” and he was all, “Huh?” Okay, not really. Many, many years ago I was a preschool teacher and I had his daughter in my class. But I decided it would seem totally wierd (and slightly crazy) of me to strike up a conversation, so I walked on by. Anyway, I was happy to see him supporting local business.
While waiting in line at Dagny’s I spotted something I had never seen before. Bakersfield – the magazine. I just had to have it. The tag line reads, “The best of life and business in Kern County” so you can see why I found it so irresistible. I’m reading it now and I will report back to you later.
They also have a website you might enjoy.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
A Day in the Life of a 15 year old Boy
My son lost his cell phone today. He lost his phone on the last day of school, which is going to make it tricky for him to keep in touch with his new friends over the summer. When he called and told me he had lost his phone I suggested he call the school on the off chance somebody found it and turned it in. A little while later I called him again to see if he had called the school. He confessed he had not and told me to just cancel his line. That’s when I got mad.
“I can’t cancel the line! I signed a two year contract which means I’m paying for that line whether you’re using it or not. NOW CALL THE
About thirty minutes later he called me back. He was SO sweet and SO apologetic I felt bad for yelling at him. I apologized too and after a brief talk about what to do, we went on to discuss other topics.
Paul told me that he recently learned a kid who lives down the street doesn’t like him. He told me that he’s only briefly spoken to this kid but apparently he really doesn’t like Paul and is telling other people about his dislike. Baffled Paul continued, “I’ve never had someone not like me before. Ever. Even people I thought didn’t, I found out they did.”
I agreed with Paul and told him not to worry about that dude. “He’s probably just jealous cuz you’re tall” I said. “Oh, I’m not worried” Paul replied, “I think it’s cool.”
Weird W.U.D.
This is what the sky looks like when you look to the west.
And this is what it looks like when you look to the east.
No Way Jose!
There’s an article in the local section today claiming that
The reporter interviewed several owners of different auto body shops in town and they all expressed surprise as well. Ben Caroccio, manager of Family Motors Autobody and Paint said that business is booming, then added, “And it’s not even raining yet.”
See what I mean?
First Women of Kern
Thanks to Kev for pointing me toward this website. There’s some pretty interesting stuff in there. I found Ellen M. Whalen Baker
Wine Tasting PMC Style
There’s an article in the paper today about the upcoming Pine Mountain Wine Tasting Festival. The first line of the article reads, “Residents are gearing up for the expected arrival of up to 1,000 or more oenophiles.” I love the fact that they used that word. Half of the people reading the paper will not know what it means, but that’s okay. Maybe they’ll make use of a dictionary.
Pine Mountain Club is a beautiful place. I didn’t even know the town existed until about 3 years ago when I met a man from there. I’m pretty sure he thought I was an idiot when I gave him a blank stare after he told me where he was from.
Now I can say I have been to PMC several times, especially when they have a festival. They have festivals all the time up there. There’s a Lilac festival, a fall festival, a music festival and, of course, a wine tasting festival. It’s a great place to go for a nice little day trip. The wine was great and the food was great and overall every thing was really great. The only thing that wasn’t great was contemplating the drive home after all that wine tasting.
The road to PMC is very narrow and winding. Once you’re past all that you get to I-5 and the most treacherous part of the grapevine. It’s not a drive you want to take with a buzz on. I suggest you do what I did. Take a blanket and find a nice spot under a shady tree to pass out.
I mean, take a nap. (Sorry Mom!)
W.U.D.
It's June in Bakersfield. It's cloudy outside and the current temperature is 66°. There's a nice breeze. The weather has been beautiful for the past few days.
Some body pinch me. I must be dreaming.
Mesa Marin No More
The big news around town lately is all about Mesa Marin. This will be the last year the raceway is open. Developers bought out the Collins family and are planning to build homes on the site. Oh goody – more urban sprawl.
I have to admit I’ve never been to a race at Mesa Marin but I have actually raced around the track. When I was in high school I dated a local racecar driver for a while. One day he took me out there and I raced my little white rabbit around the track with him. That was fun.
I am sorry to see Mesa Marin go. It’s going to be weird to drive out to the canyon and not see it.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Bake for Kids
Check out this fun website I just found. It's Bakersfield history in small, bite size pieces.
1908 - I did not know that Beale Park was our first. Shame on the city for tearing out that pool.
1927 - It's not hard to believe that Meadow's Field was built in the 20's.
1934 - Is it really okay to call them "dirt farmers"? I thought only I did that.
1962 - You can totally tell the Civic was built in the 60's.
1967 - The Plaza was born the same year I was. How cool is that?
1977 - Ah, yes. The day the world almost ended.
2002 - Uh... Is a welcome to Bakersfield sign really a part of history? And if so, where's the Sun, Fun, Stay, Play sign?
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
I'm Blogging This
While having lunch with my mother today, we got to talkin’ about the local theater scene. All of the sudden, my sweet little silver haired, old-lady mom (whom I shall call Hazel) got her panties in a bunch. She told me she always gets season tickets for the Bakersfield Music Theater, but that this year she hadn’t received the tickets. Hazel added that she also hadn’t received any word from the theater, and she speculated that it’s that good for nothing book burner Chad Vegas’s fault. (Okay – she didn’t really put it that way.)
The deal is, after Vegas was elected to the KHSD board he started stirring up trouble. One of the things he did was bust James Filbrant for using his connections to help the Bakersfield Music Theater use the Harvey auditorium. (Clearly he is a very, very bad man and had to be punished.) Now that there is no auditorium to hold the plays in, the Bakersfield Music Theater is in quite a bind, which is worrisome to my mother cuz she loves the theater.
Sensing I had some good blog material, I grabbed a pen and started to take notes. “No!” she shrieked, “Don’t quote me on your blog! I could get into trouble. Oh dear. I’m going to have watch what I say around you from now on.”
That’s right, Mom. Now you know how I feel.
My Worst Fears Have Come True
I was warned, but I didn’t listen. Amy warned me, and I brushed her off. Waist High warned me, and I ignored her. Other people told me it would happen, and I didn’t believe them. But now, now it’s finally happened. My Mom is reading my blog. Hi Mom!
I told her not to read it. I gently suggested she may not approve of everything I say, but I guess she’s used to that. You do know what this means don’t you? My father cannot be far behind. My already PG website is about to get a whole a lot cleaner. Damn it!
Oops! Darn. I meant to say darn it I swear! No, I don’t swear! I – never mind.
Celebrate your country’s independence by blowing up a small part of it.
There’s a letter in the Opinion section of the paper today written by a woman who is outraged that Piccolo Petes have been banned in Bakersfield. She complains that the reasoning that Piccolo Petes are “easy to manipulate” and, therefore, dangerous is silly. She makes her point by stating in a very unsilly way that “Guns are easy to manipulate. For that matter, so are knives. Why aren’t those products also banned from the city of Bakersfield?” (Duh lady – how are we gonna eat our steaks without knives?)
Personally, I think this woman is crazy. I hate Piccolo Petes. What’s the point? It makes an ear splitting noise for about 20 seconds then dies with a strange little twerp sound. There are a few sparks, but really there isn’t much to look at. What kind of firework is that? Is it supposed to sound like a bomb crashing to the earth or something? How is that fun?
The woman does make one good point, however. Piccolo Petes are not illegal. They’re just banned from being bought and sold within city limits. County residents can buy the annoying incendiaries to their hearts content. And given that some of the most populated areas of Bakersfield are still outside of city limits, it doesn’t sound as if we’re as safe as officials were hoping we would be.
I don’t know why we don’t outlaw the damn things all together. We have the worst air in the country and here we are setting off hundreds of smoky fireworks in the middle of summer. It’s disgusting. Plus there’s the fact that we don’t have the brightest folks around here. Last year a man was killed by modified firework that was being set off by a grown man! I had a neighbor a few years ago who set his house on fire with a bottle rocket. The very next year (and I am not making this up) he was out there with bottle rockets again – setting them off in the direction of his house! When I reminded him that he nearly burned his house down doing that the year before, he looked confused.
Bakersfield and Fireworks definitely do not mix.
Don’t go to the Vagabond Inn.
The last time Michael Hugo Miller was seen alive was on May 25th when he checked out of the Vagabond Inn in south Bakersfield. His body was found yesterday in the forest near Pine Mnt Club. This is the very same Vagabond Inn where Frances Hall’s body was found last week.
Coincidence? I think not.
p.s. For some reason the KGET website has the woman's name as Jerri Russell. All other media sources say her name is Frances - but hey, maybe they know something we don't. It could happen.
There is a God
This is 2005 and I am at this very momment listening to Love Plus One by Haircut 100 on the radio in Bakersfield, California.
Oh yeah - AND it's June and I wore a sweater to work today.
Monday, June 06, 2005
W.U.D.
It is an absolutely beautiful day. The high so far is 75° - that's 10 degrees cooler than normal for this time of year. The fivday forecastttt shows temps in the 70's & 80's all week.
Hell has officially frozen over.
Cock-a-doodle-dude
Local rooster owner Danny Brizendine is a little coo coo. Tired of his neighbor complaining about this pet, Danny spray painted the words “I hate roosters” across his own car and then parked it in front of his neighbor’s house. According KGET, the stunt was” supposed to be a one-day protest against his neighbor.” What an idiot! Now he gets to drive around with “I hate roosters painted on his car. Brizendine complained to the news that his neighbors, “Bring the police out here at 5:30 and 6:00 in the morning as they're leaving for vacation, so I don't have any way to vent or even talk to them.”
Is anybody else confused by this comment?
Stupid is as Stupid does.
A seventy five year old woman was found dead in the Vagabond Inn last Thursday. Frances Hall was discovered by a cleaning lady who must have immediately begun to question her career choice. It wasn’t long before police announced they were looking for her forty one year old husband, Hershel Hall. (I guess that saying about aging like a fine wine must be true.)
Apparently Hershel loves the prison life because two days after he was released he met his wife at the motel and killed her. According to the news Hall has been in and out of jail for years. Last time he was out he married Frances in Vegas then promptly returned to prison. The family was shocked by the marriage and undoubtedly relived when he was locked up again. Unfortunately for Frances, he was released again.
Hershel was caught this past weekend in Mexico driving a stolen semi–truck. Something tells me he’s not going to be so fond of prison anymore.
Bakotopia All 0ver Again
Bakotopia has a new design and lay out. I liked the look before but this is definitely better. It's pretty entertaining to see what some people on there are saying.
You should check it out.
The Magical Snake Man
There’s an article in the paper today about a woman who lost her pet iguana. As I was reading about her plight I came across the name Al Robbins. Oh my gosh! It’s the snake man! If you grew up in Bakersfield you have to know about the snake man.
Every year elementary school students would line up and walk happily to the Cafetorium for an assembly with The Snake Man. Al Robbins would entertain and educate us about snake and reptiles with his bags and cages full animals. I remember being thrilled and a little frightened by his magic tricks. At the end of every show he would chose several children from the audience to help him hold a gigantic boa constrictor. Kids went crazy hoping to be picked. I was always jealous of the kids who were chosen, even though I really did not want to touch the snake. I remember one time the snake peed on the stage and we were all grossed out. Ah, the good ol’ days.
When my son was about four years old we discovered that Al Robbins was going to be performing at The Racquet Club. I was so excited to see him again and share the experience with my son. When we got there he had already started and I don’t know if it was the crowd or what, but things were not going well. Al was cranky and the kids were not paying attention. We stayed for a few uncomfortable minutes then slipped out. I think he freaked Paul out.
Al Robbins passed away in 2000 at the age of 99 and the Herpetological Center at CALM was named after him. You can find a short but interesting biography of Al at this website.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Bako or Bust
It’s official - Bakersfield has gone insane. According to a government report released Wednesday, housing prices rose at a higher rate here than in any other place in the nation. The average increase last year was 12.5 percent. In Bakersfield it increased 36.7 percent. Holy crap. This isn’t all good news. According to an article in the paper today, “when housing prices in Los Angeles and San Francisco increased at a rapid pace, a period of ‘serious retrenchment’ eventually followed” and that means that, “you’re stuck with a property that may not be the same value that you purchased.”
Here’s a good example: under the article there’s pictures of three houses from different areas of town. One of the houses is a 763 square foot house on Lake Street. It looks like, but it’s on Lake Street for heaven’s sake – who wants to live there? The house sold in 2002 for $50,000. This year it sold for $121,000.
Who in their right mind who pay THAT much money for house in the ghetto? That’s crazy.
Bakersalem
There’s an article in the paper today about a dude named Leonard Simental. According to the paper, this guy was charged & acquitted of felony child molestation last year. Last month he was charged with a similar offense, and then the charge was dropped. The very next day, “Five additional counts of the same charge were filed against him.” What’s up with that? Can’t these people make up their minds? Simental’s mother says that her son is innocent and that, “She believes the alleged victims as well as law enforcement, are harassing him as part of a witch hunt.”
Either this guy is the biggest perv in town or he his indeed being hunted. Either way I’d say it’s time for him to move.
Interestingly enough, there’s another article in the paper about a teacher who had the child molestation charges against him dropped. Darryl Stewart, a seven-grade science teacher, was arrested just a few hours after one student told another that he had hugged and kissed her. The SWAT team moved in shortly after hearing the news and drug Stewart away.
Considering the scandal that was caused after all the false molestation cases in the 80’s under Jagels watch, you’d think this city would be a little more careful about accusing people of stuff they’re not really sure about.
Of course it could come in handy. If you really don't like someone you got just accuse them of grabbing your ass and have them locked up.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Making Plans, Not Sense
I’m confused. On the front page of today’s paper there’s an article about the possible repositioning of the Father Graces statue. Caltrans is asking the community what they think should be done with the padre when they begin to renovate Hwy 204 sometime in 2008. Then in another article it’s reported that the city wants to take control of Highway 204 from Caltrans so they can build a Hageman “fly over.” The part that confuses me is this; the man who came up with this plan, Jacques LaRochelle, said that “Caltrans’ strict building standards for state highways would make building the flyover impossible.” Does that mean the city of Bakersfield has less strict building standards? Does that mean that this “fly over” which would connect Hageman Road to Golden State Hwy (which isn’t really a highway at all) and carry thousands of drivers each day would be built with shoddy equipment, underpaid employees and half blind managers? What a great idea!
Yet another good reason for me not to move to Rosedale.
Tourism Too?
Cal State University Bakersfield may soon become a NCAA Division I school. Students recently approved a measure asking to increase fees in an effort to move to Division 1. CSUB is hoping Bakersfield residents will come up with the rest of the money needed. An article in the paper today says, “The move would generate $6 million annually, with 90 percent staying in the Bakersfield area” from people flooding into town and going to restaurants, etc.
Great - just what we need around here – more people.
Save the Eye Sores!
The plans to limit the number of crappy cars Bakersfield residents are allowed to have littering their front yard have been postponed. Apparently a bunch of people from Oildale showed up at a Board of Supervisors meeting yesterday and raised a fuss with their hooting and hollering and all. (Okay, that’s not what really happened, I just like imagining it that way.)
The Board of Supervisors was proposing to limit the number of inoperative vehicles stored visibly to one, but a bunch of car hobbyist argued that the plan would, “kill our hobby.” According to today’s paper, “Ken Perry was outraged over the whole concept, saying people should be able to do as they please in their backyards and that he can’t afford to tag and insure all his collectible cars, which includes 10 inoperable ones” and added that, “One person’s junk is another person’s gold.”
Uh, Dude – the proposal doesn’t say anything about your backyard it’s talking about the front yard. And if you have 10 inoperable vehicles sitting around that is no longer a backyard – it’s a junkyard. You might call all your crap “gold” but that doesn’t mean we all want to look at it. (And I thought my neighbors were ghetto.)
Stumble It!
