Where's the hand basket?

I have been awake since 3 o’clock this morning. I do like to wake up early, but somewhere around 5:30 or 6:00 is more like it. Evidently someone in my neighborhood thought 3 AM was better, because that is when he began yelling “WOOOOO HOOOOO” at the top of his lungs while standing in my yard. I woke up with the first holler and began hollering myself after the third. This, unfortunately, only encouraged him. After informing him that I was calling the cops he invited me to join him on the lawn to “do somethin’ about it.” I was tempted. But it was dark and cold and I was in my warm, cozy bed so I decided to remain where I was and seethe quietly with contempt. “That’s what I thought” he slurred as he tore a branch from the orange tree and staggered away. (What do people have against trees around here?) The man proceeded down the street like a town crier screaming out “WOO HOO” to the entire neighborhood. Now, most people would roll around for a while, perhaps turn over thoughts of murder and then drift back off to sleep. I am not most people. I was once compared to the “Princess and the Pea.” In order to sleep I need complete darkness, complete silence and at least 3 pillows.

So, I have been awake since 3, I have to go to work at 8 and I’m going to be ready to fall over by noon. And the playoffs start today!!!! The playoffs!!! This is going to be a very long day. Thanks random drunk dude.