Thursday, May 26, 2005

The Ol' Bone in the Eye Trick

My favorite idle threat used to be “I’ll poke you in the eye.” I used the phrase often and effectively while raising my son. For example I might say, “Paul, pick up your shoes or I’ll poke you in the eye” and he would then go immediately to pick up his shoes for fear of his eye being poked. Once he chose to have his eye poked instead of doing what I told him and he never tried that one again. The eye poking threat is even more effective now that he’s lost vision in one eye. Now I tell him, “I’ll poke you in your good eye” and he gets a movin’.

The other day I was sitting on my couch with Chuck watching TV and fighting over cushion space. He seems to think that he deserves more room just because he’s bigger than I am, but I figure, since it’s my couch I should be able to stretch out if I want and he can just be happy on the hardwood floor or go home. In the middle of the battle my slender ankle bumped against Chuck’s ankle and he yelled out, “Get your bony feet off me!” Offended and hurt I shot back, “Don't call me bony or I’ll stick a bone in your eye!”

Needless to say, I have a new favorite idle threat now.