My Mother Goose

I just got off the phone with my mother. I had some big news and I wanted to share. As we talked I mentioned my blog. After giving me her motherly praise and telling me, “You have a natural way of taking nothing and writing about it” she added, “But there’s one thing I don’t think you should say. And it’s this…suck my butt.” As I laughed she continued earnestly. “I’m serious! You could really offend your elderly readers. Or someone could take it the wrong way, or misunderstand. It’s just doesn’t sound right. It sounds awful.”

I tried to explain to her that it just sounds bad to her because she’s old and that it sounds funnier to say suck my butt than kiss my ass. I also reminded her I had warned her not to read my blog cuz she would not like everything I say. Through the phone I heard a loud sigh of frustration. “I don’t want people to think we didn’t raise you right” she pleaded. “I never know these days if it’s an old person thought or not. I would just think there are basic principals that stay the same.”

You’re right Mom. I love you. And you’re not that old.