Monday, March 05, 2007

His autograph is for sale on E-bay.

As I was reading the paper this morning, I noticed a unusual article. It was more of a letter, a rather long letter, and it sported the title, “How a Fool Stunt in 1982 Made Me Locally Famous…” Right smack in the middle is a picture a man and a small boy at the beach. I looked at the signature and didn’t recognize the name of the so called local celebrity, so I decided to read the letter.

It beings by describing how fabulous his life was in 1982. He had it all! Captain of the football team, 3.9 GPA, college scouts banging on his door, heck – he was practically boinking the entire cheerleading squad. According to him he was, “the envy of many of my friends.” (I’m guessing he didn’t have that many to begin with.)

Then his life took a terrible and tragic turn. His world was turned “upside down” when “out of the blue” be began to suffer from lower back pain. (Dude! That happens to me every month.) What was the cause of this mysterious back pain? He got hurt playing football. What a shocker. I would have never guessed a football injury would cause a person to suffer with back pain.

This is where things got really crazy. (Are you ready? Are you sitting down?) He went to a chiropractor. (I know! I feel faint.) But that is not the best part. The part that really made me well up with tears was when he described how in that life altering moment, he decided to give up his future as a football star and become a chiropractor too. (Pass the Kleenex!!)

The letter goes on, and on, and on describing the miracle of chiropractic care. The little boy in the picture? His life has been completely free of illness. In fact, he is so healthy, that the children who sit near him at school actually feel better when he is there. The doctor then goes on to offer his amazing chiropractic skills (for a limited time only) to the good people of Bakersfield. For only $17.00 you can receive “the whole ball of wax.”

I, for one, think he should be nominated for saint hood.