Thursday, January 10, 2008

Oscarisms and Such

As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t care to spend too much time with the very serious. I much prefer to have fun. So, if you put any thought into it all (which you probably haven’t because, really – why would you?) you’d have deduced that Oscar is a funny guy. Very funny as far as I’m concerned, but I have to admit, I am biased. Anyway, here are a few things he said recently that made me pee myself.


Oscar loves animals. Big time. I love them too, but I think he loves them more. The only person I can think of that may love animals more than Oscar would have to be VJ. Anyway, the other day we were talking about different types of pets – like snakes, or lizards and what not.

That’s when Oscar said, “Salamanders. Uck! That’s like having a used condom as a pet.”


A couple of days ago while we were getting ready for work we had the TV on and were watching the beginning of what was to become the New Hampshire primary frenzy. Matt Lauer was talking about the first village to vote that day and referred to the hamlet as “tiny Dixville.”

Oscar stopped dead in his tracks, looked right at me and said, “I feel sorry for the Mayor of that town.”


Oscar and I met Seven Bates on our wedding day to take a few photos. The park he chose had the obligatory slides, and swings, and such, but there was a giant fence all the way around the play ground. There also was no bathroom. Looking around Oscar wondered about the park and its condition.

Then he said, "All they need now is a deflated bounce house and a dead clown."


Every now and then I’ll make him laugh too. Like this morning, I got up late and was very tried. I complained about going to work and whined that I may not be able to make it through the day. Right about then I farted.

“Oh!” I said, “Well, it looks like I’ve got enough gas.”