Friday, January 16, 2009

No wonder my life sucks.

I now have scientific proof that it sucks to be a woman living in Bakersfield. Women’s Health Magazine conducted a study of 100 of the United States biggest cities to find which provide the best Health, Fitness, and Quality of Life women. Bakersfield is dead last. Apparently, it’s not quite as bad for men – Bakersfield only scored 94th on their list.

Now, as woman who has lived her ENTIRE LIFE in Bakersfield, and who will no doubt die here, I feel a little defensive. Then again, we Bakersfieldian’s always do. Like my tag line says, “It’s not THAT bad” gets repeated a lot around here. Sure, the air sucks, the heat sucks, the fog sucks, the crime sucks, the red-neck’s suck, and our city planner’s REALLY suck, but other than that…. well, you know.

If Women’s Health thinks being a woman in Bakersfield is bad, I can assure them that being a single woman in Bakersfield is twice as bad. We need to organize some sort of an outreach program to bring successful available men to town. I can guarantee you the woman around here would pay good money for chance with a dude with a good job and all his teeth.

Okay, we’ll settle for MOST of his teeth.