Here’s some disturbing news...

The Bakersfield Californian reported Wednesday that the Central Valley’ population is growing by leaps and bounds, but the prosperity of its people is not. The median per capita income in the central valley is $24,550! That is 26% lower than the state average. Some of you might remember a post I did not long ago about the fact that population in Bakersfield is about to get dumber. Now it appears it is going to be broke too.

A town full of stupid, poor people. No wonder ‘they’ call us rednecks.

Eating my words

Just to mock me the clouds have dissipated and the sky has returned to a somewhat normal looking blue color.

Sometimes it does pay to complain.

Gray skies aren't gonna clear up

Clearly, the message Mother Nature is trying to send us after eight straight days of nothing but gray, cold weather is “STAY IN BED!” I see no good reason for any one to be forced out side the comforts of home and into an atmosphere that promotes depression and in some cases, pychosis.

Don't believe me? Here's an example: Two Canadian men, ages 23 & 24, were arrested Tuesday after robbing the Yum Yum Doughnuts in Oildale and then crashing their van into the back of a truck. After being hand cuffed, one of the men commented, "It's the weather! The weather made me do it!"

Okay, I made that last part up. It's the weather! The weather made me do it!

Bill Lee's Please

Yesterday was G's birthday. I took him to Bill Lee's for some cocktails and appetizers. G is a Bakersfield native and he said he had never been there! What madness is this? If you haven't been lately I suggest you go immediately. The best way to go is to sit in the bar. You can order off the menu and enjoy the atmosphere. The Mai Tais are really good and they come in a cute coconut cup with an umbrella and everything. The food is great and more importantly, it's consistent!

Check out the history of Bill Lee's here.

The forecast

This is a picture of the sky yesterday. It looks the same today and it will look the same tomorrow. It's cold, its gray and I'm going back to bed.

Restaurant Review

For the past couple of years or so when I’d drive down Chester I’d notice a little coffee shop on the corner of 20th Street. Tina Marie’s is always open for breakfast and lunch, but I’ve never seen anyone inside. This morning I decided to give the place a try.

It’s a big space with comfortable booths and plenty of potential. Unfortunately the potential was lost who ever did the decorating. Most of the stuff in there looked like it either belonged in a flower bed or like it had just been purchased in a garage sale. The ceiling has a cool space age looking over hang with inset lighting, but the whole thing was ignored by the decorator. On a scale of 1 to 10, the atmosphere is a big, fat 0.

The first thing my friend and I noticed when we looked at the menus was the every thing was $6.99. I really didn’t matter what it was, it was going to cost you $6.99. Bowl of cereal? $6.99. Steak and eggs? $6.99. Cup of coffee? $6.99. Alright, I’m exaggerating slightly. Still, the prices would have been okay if there were some interesting items to choose from. Two pancakes, anegg and sausage just doesn’t inspire me.

I had the biscuits and gravy. The biscuits were good, the gravy was not. One side of my plate was hot, the other was not. Talk about a half-assed operation. I couldn’t even get one of the two waitresses standing around to refill my cup of tasteless coffee.

By the time we left we had mentally redecorated, changed the menu turned the place into a really happening sushi bar. Now that’s what we need downtown.

Bako's Bad Ass!

A couple of weeks ago Bako was all a buzz over the Ralph’s moving out of town. All three Ralph’s grocery store are closing and will soon be replaced by Save Mart. Apparently some people feel very passionately about Ralph’s. News crews camped outside interviewing shoppers and concerned citizens wrote letters to the Californian.

One letter in particular stood out. It was a letter sent in by Barbara Schmid, a former LA resident who moved here three years ago. According to Barbara, the reason Ralph’s is leaving is because of “the redneck mentality that permeates throughout the Bakersfield community.” She goes on to talk about how the locals here are not nice and how the people in Los Angeles welcome new comers with open arms. She points out that the “the only thing Bakersfield has going for it is the cheaper real estate” and that it is in danger of becoming a “little island” because it is “stuck in its own little groove.” She also carefully mentions that she liked shopping at Ralph’s because they carry all the “gourmet and ethnic foods” she likes. Evidently Barbara is more concerned with having good food than she is with having good friends. If she thought Bakersfield was unfriendly before she’s really got a surprise in store (no pun intended.)

The local section today carried eight letters in response. All eight of them thought the woman was way off base. Three of them are recent transplants to the area. All of them defended the community’s acceptance of newcomers and challenged her depiction of a warmer, friendlier LA. Several people suggested the woman would be happier if she returned to the over priced, gridlocked, narcissistic city she so loves.

The thing is, only people from Bako are allowed to say anything bad about Bako. If you didn’t grow up running barefoot in 110° weather across melting asphalt to dash into a 7-11 for a slurpee; if you’ve never been to the Alley Cat and gone home spinning and vomiting; if you never drove in caravan out to the middle of a field on the edge of town, in the middle of the night to “party”; if you’ve never anxiously looked out the window hoping for fog and praying for 2 more hours sleep – YOU DO NOT GET TO BAD MOUTH BAKERSFIELD!

AND...If you had the same best friend for the past 27 years plus numerous other fabulous friends you knew you could count on no matter what – you wouldn’t want to.

Burglary Bummer

This is spooky. Just yesterday I posted a piece about the crime maps the BPD has started printing in the paper. I noticed that there seemed to be a lot of burglaries, robberies and such. And now… Just a minute ago a good friend of mine informed me that his house was broken into yesterday. I know how violated I felt when my car was broken into. I can’t imagine how awful it must feel to know you had someone creeping around in your house. Taking things you worked hard for. It burns me up! I think someone should come up with a theft deterrent system that zaps the thief with debilitating (but not life threatening) jolt of electricity when they try to break into a car or a home. AND have it spray a permanent hot pink dye that smells like skunk butt.

I bet that would slow some of ‘em down.

I once was Ill, but now I'm chill

After suffering for four days with a fever, hacking cough, sore throat and a runny nose I am finally starting to feel better. I can’t take cough suppressants cuz I have asthma, so my doc gives me this stuff called Hycodan. It’s like liquid Vicodin. Ooo baby – this stuff really works!

I would write more but my hands have gone numb.

McNally the Crime Map

The Bakersfield Californian came out with a new feature yesterday. Detailed maps of the crimes committed in each of the nine different police beats in town will be published weekly on the Internet and Wednesday through Saturday in the paper. The maps will show the different types of crimes committed and the approximate time and location. This should be interesting.

In the paper today they published a detailed map of beats three, six and nine, which translates into most of south Bakersfield. For the most part it looks as though there is a whole lot of stealing going on. It’s all burglary, robbery, theft, and auto theft. Knock on wood I’ve never been robbed. Wait – that’s not true. I’ve had my car stereo stolen, what? Five (almost six) times in three years.

Stupid ass car stereo thefts - I hate them.

Imagine me looking like this

© route66.com

I finally crawled out of bed and took a shower. It’s amazing how much being clean can make you feel better. I am slowly preparing to go to work while trying to decide if I should just stay home. On the one hand I don’t want to use up all my sick leave, and on the other I don’t want to be at work and have another attack of the killer fever. Then again, I didn’t really get much rest staying at home yesterday because my stupid crack head ghetto neighbors were blaring their music so loud my walls were vibrating. AND their kids (at least two of which are school age) were riding their bikes around screaming. I nearly went crazy trying to look for the number of who to call and report that these kids ARE NOT SICK! I AM! Why aren’t they in school and why aren’t their parents at work?

Not knowing what to do, I bundled up and went in search of my neighbor, whom I affectionately like to refer to as “Angry Gay Man” (not to his face, of course.) He saw me approaching through the window and opened the door shaking his head. “I called the cops at 10 to ll” he said. “What?” I yelled over the loud music. We then shared our animosity for our obstreperous neighbors for a while, parting with the thought that we hoped the cops showed up before they turned it down. After about an hour the music stopped and I slowly regained my sanity.

I have no idea if the cops ever did show up or not. But I do know that starting at around 8:00 pm I began to hear the low thump, thump pulse of the music again. I wasn’t loud, it was just there. I think I must be especially sensitive to bass sounds, so I did my best to ignore it. I went to bed at 9:00 and began to read. The thumping sound was occasionally broken by a loud whooping noise and some banging. I ignored it. At around 10:00 I turned off my light and tired to sleep, smashing my head between two pillows. Given the ferocity of the flu I have, I soon found this to be a bad idea. Next, I lay propped up on several pillows, struggling to breathe and dozing in and out of a fantasy world. In my dream I marched over to the apartment, gun in hand, and banged loudly on the door. As the door opened and the revelers turned to see me, I would shoot my gun into the air scaring the crap out of all of them and demanding they SHUT UP!

Those of you who know me will understand how shocking this is. Me! Dreaming about firing a gun?! Yes, folks, that’s how crazy I’ve become. Of course, as the dream progressed I realized that the next scene would involve all of them pulling out their guns, riddling me with bullets and leaving me slumped over and bleeding in the doorway as they continued to party.

I think I'll try wrtting a letter to landlord instead.

Pass the Kleenex

This is what I look like today (only slightly less manish.) If you don't hear from me in couple of days send some to dig me out from under the mountain of tissues.

Feeling Ill

It has been raining on and off for days now. This is the first time I can recall when I looked at the weather forecast in the local section it showed rain showers for every day of the week. I love the rain, but I do not love the worms. The sidewalk from my building to the other building at work is covered in worms. I try very hard not to step on them as I tip toe across the walkway. Most people don’t care and just step on them and smash them. It’s so gross. The worst part of all is the smell. They rot and they reek and I can not talk about this anymore cuz I’m starting to gag. Does this happen in Portland where it rains all the time? If so, how can you stand it?

Speaking of Portland, my dear friend Waist High recently informed me of another Bakersfield Blog she has discovered. Bakersfield Ill News is a younger, hipper blog about the music scene in town. If you are looking for information on local bands, this is the place to go.

Bad News

It is interesting for me to see how new people learn about my blog. I like to check the site meter and find out what people were searching for when Bake Town came up as a hit. I had a bunch of people searching for info on Amanda Zubia. One sicko was even trying to find pictures of her being tortured. Today I discovered the biggest sicko by far. This person did a search using the words “little girls pee pee” and found my site because of the post I did about the new perv in town. How gross is that?

Less disgusting, but equally as disturbing, I learned today that all of Bakersfield major school districts have more drug and alcohol offences than the state average. According to The Californian, “Kern students are more likely to be expelled, and more likely to be assaulted or sexually harassed by peers.” Because of this police officers are being assigned to all elementary and middle school campuses. What the hell is going on in this town? Bako used to be a great place to raise a family. Why is it so messed up now?

Anyone out there have any ideas? I’m stumped.

The Jazz Joint

I went out Friday night. For the first time in ages my friend and I hit the town. We began our evening at Mexicali. We toasted our Cadillac Margaritas over our enchiladas suizas to my friend Waist High (who I know is green with envy right now.) Next we headed to the Silver Fox for some karaoke. After 1 ½ Cadaillac Margaritas my friend had convinced me to perform my very popular rendition of “You're so Vain.” The applause was deafening and so we were forced to leave promptly. Next we head down to the new "P.J.'s Nite Club."

There was an article the paper recently about the man who opened P.J.’s He is originally from Los Angeles and purchased a home here in 2003 with plans to retire. (Yes, people. There are those who retire here.) Seeing an opportunity in our cultural devoid city, he decided to open the jazz & blues club in the location of the former Cellar, or “The Underground.” You know the place. There have been numerous bars in that location since it opened in the 1940s. P.J. also plans to open a Chicken and Waffle house down the street. I eagerly look forward to trying it out.

The club was full, my friend and I found the last available seats at the bar. There were numerous tables and chairs, and a waitress delivering drinks, which in itself is a refreshing change. Luther Davis and his band were playing and the crowd loved every minute of it. A couple of people got up to dance, but there really isn’t much space for that. Most of us just rocked in our seats grinning to the music. I even saw some old high school alumni I hadn’t seen in ages. A 60 year old white man bought me a beer and tried to make chit-chat but I was too into the music. Besides, he’s 60! Hello!

We had a great time and I know I’ll be going back there again soon.

Oh – and just to really rub it in WH’s face – I went back to Mexicali the next day for lunch.
mmm, mmm good!

Makes me think of Pooh.

It's a beautiful, blustery day so I decided to take the afternoon off to play. Play probably means doing laundry and recycling, but at least I'm not at work.

There's another new perv in town.

The news stations are all abuzz talking about the new child molester let loose in our city. Joe Todd Reed enjoys showing his pee pee to little girls. He was convicted of LEWD OR LASCIVIOUS ACTS WITH CHILD UNDER 14 YEARS back in July and was released in September. That didn’t take long. Apparently he failed to register his new location so now the authorities are looking for him.

Listening to all this stuff in the news made me remember a run in I had with perv when I was a little girl. I think I was in the 6th grade, so I was probably around 12 years old. My best friend and I were nearing the end of our second annual Walk-a-Thon. (I don’t know why, but we actually did those things for fun back then.) The final destination was Patriot's Park and we decided to cheat a little and cut across the West High campus. As we walked through the parking lot next to DeMello Hall a man on a bicycle rode up and blocked our path. He wanted directions somewhere but we were not able to help. He kept pressing and asking questions and I remember thinking ‘What’s with this guy? Why doesn’t he ask a grown up?’ Just then I glanced down and saw a very gross looking purple, veiny thing hanging out of his shorts. I had never seen one before and at first I was confused. Then in a flash I realized what was going on and I was scared. The thing I remember most was the look on the creep’s face when I looked back at him. He was smiling and I could tell he was enjoying the fact that he scared me. That made me mad. I don’t remember what I said, but I gave him my ugliest hateful look, grabbed my friend and stormed off.

It never even crossed my mind to tell someone what had happened.

Up & Running

So I'm all signed up with Google AdSense and BlogAid. All you gotta do is click on the ads - you don't have to buy anything! I'm not sure yet how much I get for each click, it's probably just a fraction of a cent, so it'll be interesting to see how much I can raise. Sometin's betterin' Nuthin' my mama used to say.

Remember - all the dough goes to tsunami relief so click away!

BlogAid

I haven’t said anything about the catastrophe in Asia yet, partly because I am so disturbed by the whole thing but also because I’ve already voiced my opinions about helping others enough. I’m sure that each and every one of you are already doing all you can to help and are capable of finding viable charities on your own. But I did think this is worth mentioning.

There is program called BlogAid in which all bloggers currently making money from their sites (either through ads or donations) pledge to give their earnings to BlogAid. I currently do not make any money off my blog, and I doubt I ever will, but I have signed up for Google AdSense and BlogAid. This means that every time you click on an advertisement on my blog a few cents will go into my account and all the money earned on a monthly basis will then be sent to the Tsunami relief fund. Cool, huh? I don't have every thing up and running yet.

In the mean time, here is the list of blogs who have pledged their site earnings to relief.

Snow what?

© Felix Adamo

I hope y’all had a very Happy New Year. Mine has been mellow and comfortable, sort of like a bowl of warm mashed potatoes. Comforting but not really inspiring, hence the lack of posts lately. Plus I’ve never been a huge fan of New Year’s. I hate that the whole resolution thing and I get sick of never having someone special to kiss at midnight. I avoided New Year’s all together this year and went to bed with a book.

Not much going on around town right now, or at least not that I’m aware of. It’s been raining a ton, which is really great. The mountains are covered in snow and I’m dying to go skiing. I’m hoping to at least get up to the snow line in couple of weeks. Go sledding maybe. That reminds me, did any of you see that article on CNN about the Christian Youth Group that went sledding somewhere back East and ALL of them got hurt? They ignored signs warning people it was dangerous, and sent about 30 people to the hospital. I think that's funny cuz I’m pretty sure I was almost killed during a sledding trip to Tehachapi with my church youth group. Christians can be crazy.

Speaking of crazy Christians, there’s an article in the paper today about the prayer meeting held at Kern County Supervisor Michael Rubio’s swearing in ceremony. According to the paper the pastors speaking a the event claimed Rubio “was brought to power by the Almighty himself.”

Yup, that sounds like Bake Town.