Checkin' In. Checkin' Out.

I have been a busy little bee, and I’m about to get a whole lot busier. I start a class tonight that goes from 4-8 every Friday and 8-4 every Saturday. Sounds awful, huh? Then I’m supposed to find time to do my taxes. I hate doing my taxes. I’d rather chew glass.

In the news:

Students continue to walk out of class in protest to the immigration bill, but things seem to have slowed down a bit. A couple hundred kids walked out yesterday. No word yet on how many today. None are walking out of BHS. Paul told me the school was surrounded by cops yesterday and a huge “paddy wagon” looking bus was cruising around. He also told me tensions were definitely high on campus. I’m just hoping no body loses it and causes mayhem.

Buck’s funeral is set for this weekend and it’s scheduled to be broadcast live on TV and radio. That’s pretty cool. There will also be a viewing held at the Crystal Palace tomorrow 10:00 to 6:00 for those of you would like to take a peek. (Personally, I hate that, and not that you care, but there is no way in hell I want to have my body up on display for people to gawk at my boney carcass. That’s creepy.) Bucks obit is in the paper today, with a very nice picture of him as a fresh faced young man.

If you’re not in the mood for a funeral, there’s no shortage of action going on this weekend. The Scottish Festival is this weekend at Stramler Park. Paul and I went last year and had a great time. Take plenty of money cuz there’s tons of cool things to buy and good fun to eat. Also this weekend is the annual All Breed Dog Show at the Kern County Fair Grounds. Sponsored by The Kern County Kennel Club, the show runs Saturday and Sunday with gates opening at 7:30. I’ve never been to a dog show so I’m thinking about checking it out. Only problem is I’ll probably want to take ‘em all home and my cat wouldn’t like that.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Change of Plans

I regret to inform you that the Bevy of Bakersfield Bloggers party scheduled for this weekend has been postponed. I’m not going to be able to be there, and I don’t want no partying to go on with me. The good news is, this gives ya’ll more time to plan ahead so you can be there and not be square. Please continue to email me at baketownblog@hotmail.com for information. I’m gonna make this thing happen one way or another or die trying.

Thanks to all of you who have emailed me so far.

Cat Talk

That's Hot!

I stole this picture from Waist High because I liked it so much. Thanks W.H.!

Buck's Best Friends

Watching the news tonight I learned that Buck Owens, despite his recent death, is still working to benefit our city. In lieu of flowers, Buck requested that monetary donations be made to the Bakersfield S.P.C.A.

How cool is that?

Walk Out

Paul told me yesterday that there were rumors of a walk out planned at school today. He was bummed because he has another appointment with the eye doctor in UCLA, so he’s not going to school today. I just received an email from the principal of BHS confirming that a walk out did indeed occur at 10:00. About 250 students walked out in protest to the new immigration bill. (Whatever – they just wanted to get out of class.) Students from other schools walked out as well, and it was rumored that they were headed for BHS, but according to the email, all protestors were directed downtown.

What do ya bet they all got pumped up after watching that new HBO movie and were just looking for a reason to stage a walk out?

The Downtown Yeti

I just about got into a car wreck trying to get a picture of this dude the other day.  Thanks to Matt for getting the pic for me.

Favorite New Search String

Thank God I'm #1 here and not here.

Wierd.

When I woke up this morning this is what I saw. (There's that window I spoke of so lovingly recently.) I may not see the image of Jesus in a tortilla, but I definitely see the image of an egg floating on my wall. And just in time for Easter!!

A Sad Story

A foster mother was arrested yesterday after a 9 month old baby in her care died Sunday night.  Doctors at KMC, where the baby boy was taken, said he had “multiple skull fractures.”  The foster mother, 64 year-old Shirley Francisco, was also caring the baby’s siblings, two girls ages 3 & 4.  They’re now at the Jamison Center.

This story just breaks my heart.  What kind of a person hurts a baby like that?  Of course, we don’t know what happened, and it is possible the baby fell or something.  But if she did do it, that really freaks me out.  The thought of a 64-year-old woman beating a baby hard enough to fracture his skull is very scary.  And now those poor girls are in the Jamison Center.  

I’ve been inside the Jamison Center.  I did some work there a couple of years ago.  It is not a pleasant place to be.  In fact, it’s kind of scary and almost prison like.  I know the people who work there do the best that they can under the circumstances, but after my time there I couldn’t help but wonder if spending time there might not do more harm than good.

If you ever feel the need to donate your time to a good cause, I highly recommend the Jamison Center.  It will change the way you look at things.

Favorite New Search String

At least I'm not #2. Get it! #2! Hee hee!

Look at 'em go!!

Sherman chows down.

Important Announcement!!

Okay people. The emails have been collected, comments taken into account, and the votes tallied. Bake Town will be hosting the first ever (hopefully to become an annual event) "Bevy of Bakersfield Bloggers" this weekend. I have taken security issues seriously and promise to provide the latest, most technologically advanced devices available for personal safety. Nothing but the best for you folks.

After attending the BlogHer conference last year in Santa Clara last year, I learned how much fun, educational, and interesting, it is to meet and get to know other bloggers. I’m not going to be able to attend the conference this year (stupid 20th year class reunion) and I’m really bummed about it. So, I decided to start my own annual conference closer to home. I use the word conference very loosely. I’ll probably be more like a handful of rabble rousers getting kicked out of a bar. Whatever happens, I promise to do my best to continue to try and gather Bakersfield Bloggers to boogie and for booze. At the conclusion of the evening we will all gather round in circle, hold hands can chant Buck Owens’ name in honor of the biggest of the biggest Buckaroo of ‘em all.

So, if whether you’re a blog reader, or a blog writer, or both, y’all are invited to join me and few of my select friends. For information on where and when, email me at: baketownblog@hotmail.com.

I look forward to meeting y’all! Yee Haw!!!

p.s. Trolls, haters, flamers, and scummers will be carefully screened and need not apply.


UPDATE: If you don't go, rest assured you WILL be talked about. And not in a good way.

Bakersfield Basball

Being a big baseball fan, I thought this was pretty cool.  The Baseball Music Project kicked off its nationwide tour in Bakersfield yesterday.  I read about the event on Saturday and cried and whined, wishing that I could go; but, alas, I had a prior commitment.  Baseball related songs were played (yeah, there are more than “Take me out to the ballgame”) while images and video were shown over head.  

I don’t know why it started in Bakersfield, but I’m sorry I missed it.

The Bakersfield Sound

As most of you know, Buck Owens passed away this weekend. I heard the news early Saturday morning (thru the grapevine, as it were.) I chose not to respond immediately for several reasons. Firstly, because I wanted to see how the rest of the community, at large, and the media, in general, would respond. To be honest, I wanted to view the impact – if only, from a short distance. And secondly, to see if I might have something else to offer.

The local media, for their part, has paid homage to Buck by plastering his image everywhere (the entire front half of the paper is one giant picture of Buck), recounting the details of his life, and explaining, for those of us who didn’t already know why Buck’s legacy is so important. And of course, nearly every blogger in town has shared their personal experiences with Buck and his music. So, I guess I’ll jump on the band wagon and do the same.

I grew up watching Hee Haw. Not because I wanted to. Not even because me, or my family liked the country music. I think it was because my father was worried about our minds being poisoned by watching the other popular programs at the time. I never got to watch Bewitched, or Gilligan’s Island. We watched the Lawrence Welk show (Adios, au revior, auf weidersehen.....Good Night!), and National Geographic. (Is it any wonder I’m so strange?)

I think we watched Hee Haw because we were the kind of small town, close knit, played in the dirt fields, struggled to do better family that many families were in Bakersfield. The kind where dad worked as a ruff neck to get through high school, and mom worked as a telephone operator. The kind of town where tumble weeds were viewed as tools to make forts, and the pavement was only as hot as your one bare foot could stand.

I think it's the same kind of atmosphere that keeps Amy in NY referencing her home town, and Waist High obsessing about her time in high school. It has to do with the reason that this blog has had moderate success with the people who have moved away, yet still check back to see what's going on.

There is something about Bakersfield. Those of us from here have likened it to a “Black Hole.” Some may escape, for a while, but great many are sucked back. And then, there are the rest of us. Those who grew up here and never left. We just sit back and take the heat. The heat for never leaving, the taunts about Backwardsfield, and, of course, the actual heat. And then we wait for ‘the others’ to return. Because they always do. If not to live, then at least to visit. And to connect - to re-connect. To tap into that strange, oddly familiar, and comforting feeling of friendship and family that comes from growing up Bakersfield style. Good, lasting, honest, Friendships. As far as I’m concerned, "The Bakersfield Sound" is all about home.

Rest in Peace Buck.

Cooooolllll!!!!!

My favorite local band, The Filthies, have a new video out. You check it out here.

Thanks for the heads up Dobb!

Wonder Twin Powers – Deactivate!

The Nazi Twins are back in the news today - right on the front page sporting their “Happy Hitler” t-shirts. Evidently their father, Kris Lingelser, is against their mother moving them to Montana and “claims in court papers that Gaede is brainwashing the 13-year-ods girls and endangering them by involving them with violent racist groups.”
(Gee…ya think so?)

Apparently their father doesn’t share his ex-wife’s belief system and is asking for full custody of the two girls. (How does someone date someone and not notice that he or she is a hate filled bigot??) Unfortunately, he lost custody of the girls 10 years ago when he and his wife first divorced, and has had limited contact with them since then. Getting his daughters back might be tough. Although, if he does get them back, he may find unbrainwashing them even tougher.

Maybe they should each take one and just call it even.

Sons Son?

I’m confused. The newspaper keeps referring to Jeremy Sons, the former step son of Bruce Sons. But it has also been reported that his name is Jeremy Toomey, which would make more sense considering he is the former step son of Bruce and most likely wouldn’t share his last name. So which is it?

Whatever you call him, he took the stand yesterday for the first time. Prosecutors have been trying to get this guy to talk for years now although I’m not really sure why. It doesn’t sound like it went well for the prosecution. Jeremy basically said Maxwell started it by slamming his father into the car while yanking his arms behind his back. You can read the whole story here.

This is my favorite part:

“Deputy District Attorney Andrea Kohler asked the judge Wednesday to strike part of Jeremy Sons' testimony on this because he was "non-responsive," meaning he didn't strictly answer her question.
"What does non-responsive mean?" Jeremy Sons asked Kohler.
"I can't answer that," Kohler said.
"Non-responsive," Jeremy Sons said, pointing at the attorney with a smile.”

At least he still has a sense of humor.

Wake Up Wimbish

So, I’m watching the news last night, and they’re doing this piece on how the county is STILL trying to go after those sheriff’s who received extra duty pay even though that case is SO over even mentioning it makes them sound completely insane. But noooo, ever striving to bring new meaning to the term “beating a dead horse” the retirement board is going after the retired sheriff’s pensions. As I watching it I couldn’t help but wonder what was really going on, because this is clearly not about the money anymore. It’s about egos, and spite, and maybe just a touch of insanity.

Then, the next piece in the news started talking about how the current sheriff wants to perform a “Class A” inspection of his law enforcement officers to ensure that “deputies' uniforms and equipment are in good condition and present a professional image.” Okay, whatever. Trouble is, this “inspection” is going to cost us taxpayers anywhere from $25,000 to $30,000 “in overtime since some deputies will be ordered to come in on their time off.” That was about the time I started talking to my TV.

Is Mack Wimbish a complete idiot, or does he just not pay any attention to the news? Did he somehow miss how the county went after Carl Sparks over an over time pay issue? Did Whimbish somehow forget that he already pissed a lot of people off when he used his authority to help get a buddy out of jail? Has Mack conveniently dismissed the fact that this is an election year and he does have some competition?

Maybe somebody needs to tell the sheriff it’s not the condition on the uniforms that need inspection around here.

Please God. NO!!

My friend, Amy in NY, sent me (and the potty mouthed Waist High) this link today with the attached message:

“This makes me think of both of you ladies. Don't even bother with the dude, but watch the girls.”
 
I CAN NOT EVEN imagine why. (cough)

Oops!

I missed one of the other new products from Mercado Nuevo.  It’s called “New to Bakersfield” and if you can’t figure out what that site is geared toward you have a real problem.  

Congrats

Just one day after I write a post about Bakotopia and all their new “products” they end up on the cover of the Wall Street Journal.  

Pretty cool.

Got Gossip?

Oooo… we got some good gossip in the news today.  Pumpkin head Brooke Thompson has lost her substitute teaching job because the high school students found her too “distracting.”    (Uh, yeah.  I think I’d stare too.)  Ms. Thompson is upset about the termination and says, “I’m going to have to do some thinking (about it).”  

Good luck with that Pumpkin’.  Don’t hurt yourself.



Also in the news… a local doctor has been accused of “‘egregious’ sexual abuse” by two former patients who claim he touched them inappropriately on several occasions and watched them as they undressed.   The allegations are spelled out quite graphically in today’s paper.  (Oh my!)  After the news was released, four more people came forward with complaints about Dr. Esmail Nadjmabadi.

I hope this doesn’t turn into a witch hunt just because the guy has a funny name.

Rollin' out the Welcome Mat

I have been remiss lately in not welcoming some of the newer (or new to me anyway) bloggers in town. What can I say? I’m a stuck up little @#*#%. (not really).

Okay, so first we have Black Dog, who seems to think he is the center of the universe. I don’t know about that, but I have been enjoying his blog, so I figured I would cut him some slack. (Just kidding B.D.!)

Then there’s Sonicrusk; a nice man who likes to post pictures of buxom blondes in various states on undress. (I’m sure the men out there are gonna like this one.)

And finally there’s the new website, Theater Addict, which provides complete coverage of everything going on in the theater scene. It’s kind of a one stop shop for all things theatrical including schedules and upcoming auditions. Very cool idea.

I wish all of you all the best.

Introducing...

Mercado Nuevo is a new business in Bakersfield that has been busy for the past year creating new news products for residents. They have a bunch of cool new sites, like Northwest Voice for people who live in that area, the Southwest Voice for the people in the southwest, Mas which is geared toward the Latino culture, and finally Bakotopia which is pretty much for just about everyone.

If you haven’t seen these sites yet you should definitely check ‘em out.

Im back!

I’m back.

I took a few days off for some R-n-R, but I’m back now and feeling good.  So… here’s what I missed.  

Tara Cook, a 35 year old school bus driver was arrested last Friday after PASSING OUT
While driving four special ed kids home from school.  Yes people, she was so completely wasted, so drunk, so totally out of it, she quite literally fell asleep at wheel.  (Oh man.  That’s bad.)  A neighbor saw the bus jerking and berking down the road, grew concerned, and decided to follow the bus.  When the bus came to a stop sign, the man parked his car in front of the bus and called 911.  That’s when Tara decided to take a nap.

Needless to say, I don’t think Tara will be getting behind the wheel again anytime soon.


Another inmate turned up dead in downtown jail last week.  Tamika Bell was “found” in her cell and was rushed to the hospital were she later died.  The coroner is investigating the exact cause of death, which tells me she probably wasn’t beaten to death like that last guy.

An Irish Toast

May your life be long
May your heart be true
May your path be clear
And your skies be blue.

May your soul be happy
And your spirit light
May you know great joy
May your dreams take flight.



Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone!

Patty Party Plans

Bakotopia and Fishlips are throwing a St. Patty’s Day Shamrock Shindig tomorrow and I’m gonna be there!  For only five bucks you get all the corned beef and cabbage you can eat, (whew – stay out of the men’s room) plus eight bands, and a DJ!! AND Bakotopia is going to be giving away prizes ‘n stuff, so unless you’ve got plans to party with St. Patty hisself, I suggest y’all come on down to Fishlips tomorrow.  The party starts at 5:00!!

It’s gonna be a butt load of fun.

It's Party Time

I’ve been thinking it’d be fun to get all the local bloggers together for a little meet & greet.  Just something casual; so we can all get to see the faces behind the mask. A “Bakersfield Blogger Social” if you will. And of course, regular readers would be welcome as well.

What do y’all think?  Gimme some suggestions for a place and time and I will make all the arrangements.

Quick Nips

Despite the fact that most people in Bakersfield objected, and in spite of the fact that Castle & Cooke withdrew their offer, the new Federal Court House will be built in the southwest.  Apparently the U.S. General Services Administration gave us all a big middle finger and basically said “you’ll build it were we SAY to build it.”  

Whaddayagunnado?


The charges against ex-sheriff Carl Sparks were dismissed Monday when a judge decided there wasn’t enough evidence to try the case.  Sparks burst into tears (as he often does) at the news.  In the end the Board of Supervisors ended up looking pretty stupid.  They went after Sparks and seven others for the sum of $39,000 in over time pay.  They ended up spending twice that amount without successfully convicting a single one of them.

Lesson learned.


Bruce Sons fourth trial began yesterday in Santa Maria and this time prosecutors really have somethin’ new.  Sons’s ex-stepson, Jeremy, is going to testify for the prosecution in exchange for being let out of jail.  Jeremy refused to testify in the first trail, was convicted of second degree murder, served his time, was released and then hunted down like a dog during the second trial, finally turned himself in, refused to testify in the third trial, was held in contempt of court, and has been locked up ever since.

I don’t imagine he’s going to be the most cooperative witness around.

I didn't know tortoise legs could bend that direction.

Sex Offender Summary

A friend and I were talking about the potential pervs in our neighborhood recently. (She has a little girl, so potential pervs are a concern.) So today, when I shoulda been doing something else (like rounding up those dust bunnies) I spent the better part of my day surveying the Megan’s Law website. I probably won’t be able to sleep tonight, but this is what I found:

By Zip Code - (The number on the left is the number of registered sex offenders. The number on the right is how many of those are in violation.)

93301 – 79/20
93302 – 3/0
93303 – 0
93304 - 132/25
93305 – 178/39
93306 – 86/20
93307 – 232!! (I didn’t count the number in violation for this one.)
93308 – 146/18
93309 – 74/13
93310 – 0
93311 – 8
93312 – 42/1
93312 – 29/2

From this I learned that, 93307 aside, my neighborhood has the highest percentage of “in violation” sex offenders. Needless to say, this information did not please me. Neither did the fact that I recognize one of the “in violation” men from going downtown.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have about eighty names and faces to memorize.

You know...

it’s time to do laundry when…the only pants you have to wear to work have a waist band that lies only slightly lower than your bra.

it’s time to start paying attention to your hygiene…when you look down in the shower and audibly gasp at the sight of what looks like the legs of a pre pubescent boy.

it’s time to clean the house…when the dust bunnies under the TV are arguably larger than the pet from whom most of the hair came from.

I can't believe he came outta me.

I called my friend last night to complain about my sixteen year old son. “He won’t listen to me” I whined. “What’s the problem” she asked? I explained to her that Paul told me the school schedule he plans to take next year. It includes, AP English, AP US History, AP Statistics, Honors Chemistry, German 3, and Journalism (next year he gets to be an editor.) Plus, there are his extra curricular activities, which include (but are not limited to) Mock Trial and Academic Decathlon. “I don’t want to discourage him” I said, “but I think it’s too much! He’s going to get over whelmed.” My friend started laughing at me. “Thousands of parents are out there warning their kids not to have sex, get pregnant, or do drugs. And your biggest problem is he’s taking too many AP classes?”

I guess that does sort of put things into perspective.

Props to Pageant

I thought I’d share a little more about the play Todd and I went to see this weekend.  We didn’t really know what we were getting into until we got there, but for some reason I wasn’t totally surprised.  The play, “Pageant” was and actual beauty pageant – except… the contestants were men dressed as women. I think the joke was it wasn’t supposed to be like a drag show.  They were really supposed to be women, or as the first song said, “Natural born Females” but “With Something Extra” as hinted at in the second song.  Frankie Cavalier was the “Master of Ceremonies” and he did a great job of being smarmy yet sincere with his bombastic descriptions of each of the women.  Just like a real beauty pageant host.

My favorite part was the way they had regions instead of states that each of the contestants came from.  There was Miss Bible Belt, Miss Deep South, Miss Great Plains, Miss Industrial Northeast, Miss West Coast, and Miss Texas.  And of course each of the women embodied the areas that they came from.  Miss West Coast, Karma Quinn, was spacey and did a hilarious interpretive dance for her part in the talent competition.  Miss Texas, Kitty-Bob Ames, tap danced with ridiculous horse get up attached to her that was absolutely hilarious.  

In between competitions, the women came out and showed us their “spokes model” abilities by demonstrating various products developed by “Glamouresse,” the sponsor of the show.    I can’t remember what the products were right now.  But a few of them were pretty darn funny.  And, the whole thing was very interactive.  People from the audience sitting at different tables were chosen to be judges, and according to the program they really do chose the winner.  In the message from the director, Bruce Saathoff, “the outcome is truly unknown and in the hands of our audience judges.”

Overall I’d say it was a lot of fun and definitely worth the price of the ticket.  Oh wait…I didn’t pay.  (Thanks Todd!  Let’s do it again soon!)

Seasons in the Sun

I haven't heard this song in decades! I remember wanting to cry everytime I heard it. (Of course, I was about six years old at the time.)

Here's sort of an interesting story "behind the music."

W.U.D. Follow Up

We didn’t get any snow this weekend, but we did apparently get some hail.  I didn’t see it, but I heard about.  Some people even took pictures of it.  I was either in the theater when it happened, or asleep, or in some other way passed out and rendered oblivious.  Nevertheless, I have been enjoying the exciting weather we’ve been having.  

That’s how boring Bakersfield can be.  We get excited when the wind blows.

Good Day Sunshine

I have a window in my bedroom that I love. I mean, I love all windows, but this window is special. The bottom of it is about five feet off the ground, which means I can walk around buck naked in front it and nobody can see a thing. It’s a long, narrow window that faces the west, and I can see the top of the Fox Theater from it. During the week, when I have to get up and go to work (ugh), I leave the blinds open so as the sun comes up it shines in my eyes and wakes me up with its growing, natural light. In the past I think I have suffered from S.A.D. (I love diagnosing myself, don’t you?) I used to find it hard to wake up when day after day we have nothing but grey and gloomy weather. Who wants to go out it that? Not me. Now I wake up and spend a few minutes staring out the window, looking at the sky and the clouds, and thinking about my dreams.

I think it’s the way everyone should start their day.

80% of the crowd is too old to dye their hair

Todd and I went to the theatre tonight. We went to see “Pageant” at the Stars Theatre Restaurant.

And this is my B.B.Q.& A. of our evening out….


Todd, you’re a long time reader of Bake Town. How did you first get sucked into the sickness that has become B.T.?

“Well…I found Waist High’s blog first, by Googleing “Bakersfield+Stop+Smoking” then I knew who Chrissy was from high school, then I saw the links to your blog and found it SO MUCH FUNNIER that I decided I liked it much better.”

Really? And why did you find Bake Town more enjoyable than Waist High?

“Because with Bake Town I don’t have to re-live all the horrible 80’s bands.”

That’s pretty harsh Todd, what’s wrong with 80’s bands and/or Waist High’s obsessive compulsion to honor every miniscule milestone of 80’s bands histories?

(Todd - folding over with laughter.)

“Because most 80’s bands sound gay and constipated.”

Okay, Todd. We’ve established that you don’t like Waist High and 80’s gay bands... what is it that you do find appealing (if anything) about Waist High?

(Todd – doubling over with laughter.)

“I never said I didn’t like Waist High! I…I…I…enjoy all of her posts. And I do admire that she is stubbornly stuck in the 80’s regardless of what anyone says.”

Okay, change of topic (cuz I’m sick of talking about Waist High) we went to see a play together tonight… what was your take on it?

Todd is thinking… Bake Town farts…Todd laughs…there is a pause in the action while each try to collect themselves.

“I never did get used to looking at these GUYS, who were so obliviously, GUYS, dressed up as women. The whole play.”

Alright then, about the play we saw tonight...what stood out to you?

“The play was funny. The actors were ugly (which is ((he hopes)) the point) and I was very impressed that they could sing and dance while wearing high heels.”

What was your take on the audience and their response?

Well… (laughing) I was shocked when I walked in and noticed that there was more grey hair there than in a nursing home.

So, do you think the old folks enjoyed the play, or were they “put off’ by the whole ‘drag queen’ aspect like you were, you big homophobe?

Well, first off, I wasn’t “put off’” by it and I don’t think the old timers were either judging by their laughter. Although, that one old guy behind us was mad that one chick for laughing too loud.

Would you be willing to see another play at this theater, and do you think next time you would rather go with your mom?

(Todd begins huffing with aggravation.)

“How did my mom get brought into this?”

Answer the question Todd….

“Yes. I would go see another play there, as long as it was a comedy again. And of course I would take my mother, because I’m a good son, and you, Bake Town, are a pain in the ass.”



p.s. Todd just made fun of my cat. Magill is SO not Bill the Cat! I’m never going to the theater with him again!

Strangest New Search String

I noticed that someone had found my site recently after doing a search for "stupidest town bakersfield." That didn't really surprise me, but something else did. I noticed that the search came from England, and upon further inspection, discovered that it came from Eton College specifically. What the...?

Don't those royals have anything better to do than sit around making fun of Bakersfield?

Flight. Unite. What's the difference?

Roy Ashburn dropped a bomb (no, not that kind) on the media yesterday when he told the people gathered to hear him announce his candidacy for Congress that he was NOT going to run.  There was a brief silence, then, in unison, a big “Huh?”  Kevin McCarthy was heard whooping for joy in the background.  (Okay, I made that up.)  When asked why he had decided not to run, Ashburn said, “In politics, there’s a time to fight and there’s a time to unite.”  

That’s funny.  I thought it was either fight or flight.  But you’re right Roy, unite sounds better.

Love in B-Town

I found this by accident this morning. It's a pretty good story. I especially like the part when she goes to Trout’s. But, she may want to work on her geography a little bit.

Bakersfield is in the San Joaquin Valley lady, not San Bernardino.

Favorite New Search String

Looks like this search came up empty.

W.U.D.

Right at the end of what has to be one of the warmest, mildest winters in Bakersfield history, we have a snow advisory for this weekend.  

That’s crazy.

I'll take a fudgesicle AND ALL YOUR MONEY!!

Ahh… the ice cream man. I have fond memories of hopping on one bare foot, then the other, while waiting on scorching hot pavement for my rocket pop. I remember how my tiny heart would quicken at the sound of “Pop goes the weasel” playing over and over again from the ice cream truck loudspeaker. When Paul was little I could never say no to him when he heard the ice cream man. Paul was so enamored he said he wanted to be a ice cream man when he grew up.

Boy, things sure have changed. Supervisors voted recently to limit ice cream trucks to selling ice cream only. It seems that some of them were selling some other stuff along with their popsicles. Some children have been able to purchase smoke bombs, fire crackers and fake guns. Fake guns? From the ice cream man? And these aren’t pink, plastic squirt guns – they’re realistic looking. What has the world come to?

We’ll know it’s really over when one those kids tries to rob the ice cream man using the gun he bought from him the week before.

Someone needs a time out.

Somethin’ funny is going on with our city counsel people. First a group calling themselves the “Consumer Alliance for a Strong Economy” comes out with a bunch of radio ads attacking David Couch, Sue Benham, and Mike Haggard. The members of CASE have remained a mystery. Then Couch fired back by asking that all the council members sign a piece of paper swearing they don’t know who any of the members are. (Sounds kinda Jr. Highish doesn’t it? It gets better.)

When he asked the others to sign the document (under penalty of perjury) Zack Scriver said no way. Jacquie Sullivan and Irma Carson signed, but then changed their minds and asked for their declarations back. Scriver said Couch was juvenile for coming up with the idea in the first place and Couch stuck his tongue out at him in reply. (Just kidding.)

I think we need to buy these guys a copy of “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.”

Take that C&C

When it was announced last week that the U.S. General Services Administration had decided to build a new federal court house in southwest Bakersfield, a WHOLE lotta people got their panties in a bunch. The city immediately asked for a review and accused the GSA of ignoring “an executive order that gives preference to downtown buildings.” Some people accused Castle & Cooke, the developer who had proposed the new location, of strong arming the GSA into choosing their project. Congressman Bill Thomas, Senator Barbara Boxer jumped on the bandwagon and condemned the decision. Words were exchanged, threats were made, and madness ensued. The next thing anybody knew Bakersfield had Castle & Cooke in a headlock while the media counted out three on the mat.

Castle & Cooke admitted defeat last night by withdrawing their site from consideration. The president of C&C, Bruce Freeman, announced (while giving his very best sad puppy dog face) that they had been victims of “unfair criticism and outright vilification” and that they, “no longer wanted the courthouse contract.”

I guess the poor little rich boy’s going to cry himself to sleep on his pile of money tonight.

Wonders never cease

It looks like I’ve won my very first virtual award. I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but Valancy Jane has seen fit to award me second runner up in her OAWW Walkie Awards. Pretty cool, huh? The best part is the prize, which is pictured here. Who doesn’t want a tortoise, wearing a hat beer stein?

Thanks V.J. You rock AND you roll.

A 10 minute drive? No way!

There’s an article in the paper today about the Northeast side of town and how they are experiencing “growing pains.”  Some residents think they’re not getting new chain restaurants and trendy stores fast enough.  One person is even quoted as saying, “We didn’t have no Starbucks over here.”  Oh dear.  They don’t got no Starbucks.  Better build it fast, cuz they’re obviously suffering from a lack of caffeine.   But the quote, the most ‘typical Bakersfield’ quote, comes from a young lady who said, “I don’t want to have to drive all the way to the southwest or the northwest to shop.”  

What is it about Bakersfield that makes us never want to leave our own neighborhoods?  Must be something in the air.

How to decide?

So it looks like the BIG NEWS in town lately is all about Congressman Bill Thomas resigning and who might be the next person to take his place. (I guess now that Bill has an airport terminal named after him, what else is there?) Thomas was a very powerful figure in Congress, which explains how he managed to stick around for 28 years.  

Kevin McCarthy has already announced that he will run to replace Congressman Thomas.  Senator Roy Ashburn is planning to run too.  Senator Dean Florez has said he’s not planning on running for the position, which means we have a choice between a Republican and a Republican.  

Something tells me the Republicans are going to win.

Acto De Condad

Chuck Wall, the man who came up with the “Today I Will Commit One Random Act of Kindness” campaign recently extended his influence beyond the border.  Robert Price described in his column today how Chuck had thrown out some old bumper stickers he had printed in Spanish, thought the better of it, then dug ‘em out and mailed them to Mexico.  He sent them to a women he had seen profiled in the news “who lives with and ministers to the incarcerated murderers and drug lords of Tijuana’s infamous La Mesa State Penitentiary.”  (She sounds like one tough nun.)  Anyway, the stickers were a big hit and now their reportedly plastered all over the prison.  

It’s a good thing Chuck’s slogan wasn’t “Kill ‘em with Kindness.”

Ladies First!

Here’s a new website some of you might find interesting.  All too often in history the women are forgotten.  But if you think about it, Colonel Baker would’ve had a heck of time entertaining all those guests if he didn’t have ol’ Elly around.

Nice work ladies.

Share the Love

There’s  a really amazing picture of a rainbow on the front page of the paper today.  The rainbow is perfectly clear and exceptionally bright.  I wanted to steal (giving full credit to the paper and the photographer of course) a copy of it and post it here for y’all, but I couldn’t find it online.  I guess it’s just a special treat for the people who actually read the paper.

Anyway, nice work Casey Christie.  You da bomb.

Yeah, it's that bad.

Occasionally, very occasionally, Paul and I will venture west of Oak Street, brave Rosedale Hwy, and go shopping at the giant strip mall in White Flightville.  I know it has a name, but I couldn’t think of it, so I told Paul we needed to come up with a nickname for the area and in a flash Paul came up with the perfect name.

We’re going to call it the Gaza Strip.

Oh no you di'ent

There’s an article in the paper today about a chick from Bakersfield who was on the “reality” show “Flavor of Love.” Brooke “Pumpkin” Thompson made it to the final three, but was kicked off last week, much to her relief I would assume. I hate to admit this in public, but I was flipping through the channels recently and I was AMAZED to learn that there was a reality show in which other wise sane women competed to become Flavor Flav’s girlfriend. I couldn’t help myself. It was like a train wreck. I had to watch. I had NO idea one of the girls was from Bakersfield. (Hanging head in shame.)

I’m embarrassed to admit having watched the show, I can not imagine how see finds the guts to appear in public after being on the show. I mean, come on, is it possible to create a more inane show than that? She even admitted she wasn’t really attracted to Flav, so it’s not like the there is ANY reality to that reality show. I can’t think of one single person I would rather NOT date than Mr. Flavor.

I don’t care if he is rich and famous - he’s totally annoying and not even a little bit hot.

Thanks Todd!!!

Todd came over this weekend and worked his voodoo magic on my computer.  Now I have my internet connection back so I can blog.  While he was busy working his voodoo magic, his son tortured my cat and terrified my tortoise.  Then, when he left, Todd threatened me with physical violence if I did not publicly thank him for coming over and fixing my computer.

I hope he doesn’t sick his kid on me.

Sherman takes a drink

Losing it.

I think I may have A.D.D. I started writing a post I began yesterday, then, for no reason, no reason at all, I started playing solitaire. After I lost, I started writing again, then I suddenly stood up and walked into the other room. Once I arrived in the other room I stood there, looked around, and then realized I didn’t have a reason to be there, so I turned around and went back to my computer.

It’s no wonder I can’t seem to get anything done.

Moving on Up

So The Californian launched it’s newly remodeled website AND redesigned newspaper yesterday and they are, to say the least, colorful. Big pictures frame the paper highlighting featured articles. It looks good. Maybe a little TOO colorful for my taste, but still good. It’s a little reminiscent of USA Today, which I don’t consider a real newspaper. (It reminds me of those tissue paper “weekly readers” we used to get back in grade school.) Anyway, it’s great to see The Californian making strides to remain competitive in the ever changing world of media. I was impressed when I learned recently that The Californian is one of the few remaining independent newspapers around. Most have been scooped up by some big company I can’t remember the name of. (Little help here!)

A couple of things I do like about the new format is the little “Did you know” snippet in the bottom left corner of the local section that shares factoids about Bakersfield, kinda like what this blog used to do before I got so damn lazy. (Sorry mom.) My other favorite thing (actually it’s probably my most favorite thing) is the big, new picture of Bob Price looking ruggedly handsome. Very Harrison Ford.

I liked Bob before, but I like him even more now.

Favorite New Search String

For once I'm happy to be lower down on the list.

One down. Eight to go.

Paul and I made it back from UCLA in record time yesterday. I was dreading the trip cuz I was afraid we would be stuck in traffic for hours, but by some miracle we missed all of that. Paul’s cornea is healing nicely, but we did have a little scare yesterday. After the doctor looked in his eye he announced that he was going to remove a stitch today. That was about the time Paul had a minor heart attack.

You see, Paul has a full blown, mind numbing, body crippling phobia about eyes. He can’t stand to have anything near them. He can’t stand to even see someone else do anything to their eyes. If he sees me rubbing my eyes he yells at me to stop. He absolutely freaks out. The reason he had to have the surgery was because he COULD NOT put contacts in his eyes. The only reason he agreed to have the surgery (besides the fact that his is going blind) was because he knew he would be knocked out. So when the doctor said he was going to remove a stitch from Paul’s eye, he visibly began to shake.

My heart filled with dread as I watched him turn white and ask, “You’re going to knock me out for that, right?” “No,” the doctor replied, “I’ll do it here, it only takes a second.” “What exactly does that entail?” Paul asked, to which the doc replied, “It’s better if you don’t know.” Paul’s anxiety was palpable, and the look of terror on his face was undeniable, so the doctor (Dr. Casey, by the way, he’s THE BEST!) backed away and assured Paul that he wasn’t going to make him do anything he didn’t want to do. He told him that if he didn’t think he could let him remove the stitch that we could go down stairs and put him under.

Now it was my turn to freak out. I can not tell you how awful it was to sign the paper work full of warnings about what might could happen while under anesthesia. And then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, after signing the papers, I had to watch as they administered the drugs and see Paul go from alert and excited to dull and loopy. I hated it. I mean, I was glad he was put under for the surgery, but I hated seeing him like that. His father and I walked out of the pre-op and promptly began to cry. The thought of going through that again was not a pleasant one.

“Just let him try Paul” I pleaded. He looked nervous and scared, but he looked up at the doctor and said, “Okay. I’ll do it for you.” Dr Casey assured him that he would just try once and if that didn’t work they could use anesthesia. Paul placed his chin on the metal contraption and stared straight ahead while the doctor gently lifted his eye lid. I quietly reminded Paul to breathe. I watched the doctor, but I honestly didn’t see him do anything. About 3 seconds later he said, “Okay. That’s it.” Oh. My. God. That man is amazing.

Paul was so happy he had managed to allow the doctor to remove the stitch he literally began clapping his hands with excitement. Dr. Casey shook Paul’s hand and complimented him on managing his anxiety. “I’m SO proud of you!” I told Paul, to which he beamed with delight. He could hardly contain himself.

“How many more times am I going to have to do that?” asked Paul, to which the doctor explained it depended on how the cornea heals. Then he asked how many stitches he has in his eye. “Well,” Dr. Casey said, “You did have nine. Now you have eight.”

“I have stitches in my eye,” Paul said, “That’s crazy awesome.”

Just so ya know

My internet connection went away with the storm that hit the other day and I’m STILL waiting for Todd to get his butt over to my house to fix it! I have the day off work today so I can drive Paul down to UCLA and have his eyeball checked out, so I came over to my parents house to use their computer, but they only have dial up and it is driving me crazy cuz IT. IS. SO. SLOW. Slower than that even. I’m telling y’all this so you’ll understand why I’m not blogging about what I did last night, which was go to Fishlips for Fat Tuesday and consume way too many alcoholic beverages.

I’ll have to save that story for another time.